Did you say OURAN ACADEMY!
by TrippinOffTheWall
Summary: This fanfic is something I did for fun. IT stars my OC being passed out and waking up in Ouran Academy where she eventually meets the Host club. I based the fandum on the english version of the show so some things might not follow the manga word for word
1. Chapter 1

I DO NOT OWN THE MANGA/SHOW HOST CLUB OR HARRY POTTER! That honor goes to some other awesome people.

On with the story!

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><p>"<em>Kiss, kiss fall in love, Maybe you're in love" <em>

When the song ended a stranger pass out in the hallway of Ouran began to stir.

"Wha… What? Who's singing? Can't they see I'm trying to sleep!" Rolls over. "Huh? Where's my bed?"

Bolting up I look from left to right.

"What? Wasn't I home in bed like 5 minutes ago?" I asked.

_**'**__**Where the fuuuu…**_' my thoughts were cut off by a voice behind me.

"Sempai, why are you sitting the middle of the hall?" asked the mystery person.

"Ummm… that's a good question." I replied rubbing my chin.

"Say umm, where is the place?" I asked.

Finally getting to my feet I turn around and faced the person who spoke. It was a boy. He had big round glasses and a head of messy brown hair. He wasn't very tall, he barley came up to my shoulder. **'_He looks kind of familiar…(mental gasp) Harry Potter!_'** (**me:** **Doesn't Haruhi kind of look like Harry Potter from the movie sorcerer's stone?**)

"Are you kidding Sempai? This is Ouran Academy. YOU HAVE A UNIFORM!" Harry Potter screamed pointing at me.

"I DO?" I asked confused. Looking down the boy was right. From the blue blazer to the black shine shoes my clothes had completely changed.

**'_Huh? Who stole my pajamas? WAIT! Did he just say this place was thee OURAN ACADEMY!'_**

"Ouran Academy! REALLY?"I asked grabbing the Harry Potter look-a-like. Shaking him back and forth.

"SEEENNNPAAI!" Harry Potter look-a-like screamed (**me:** **OH** **come on! You know it's true! X3**)

"Sorry..." I said sheepishly releasing him. Clearing my throat. I looked back at the boy standing in front of me.

"Hey kid, what's your name?" I asked tilting my head slightly to the side.

"Oh I'm Haruhi Fujioka." **she** said.

"**(O.O)...**.. Hrauhi Fujioka?" i asked in shock.

"Uh huh." she answered

"**(O.O)**….. And you said this school is Ouran Academy, right?"

"Yeah…" Haruhi said with a raised eyebrow.

"**(O.O)**…..Host Club?" I squeaked under my breath, turning pale.

"Senpai are you okay?" Haurhi asked with worry in her voice.

_…Silence….Wind blowing….Cricket, Cricket…_

**'_I've __been teleported into the manga HOST CLUB? B-But how? How is that even possible!' _**I mentally shouted.

"Ahem of course I'm fine." I replied waving her off. "So, Haruhi where were you headed too?" I asked. _**'Well if I'm stuck here I might as well have some fun, right?'** _My inner self argued back.

"Oh I was on my way to the market to buy some things for the host club."

"Really? Can I come?" I asked. Clasping my hands together.

"Ha sure senpai. **(^-^)**"

_...~Time skip the walk to and from the market~..._

_*munch, munch, munch*_

"So Haruhi why did you have to go shopping for the Host Club?" I asked through a mouthful of Twinkies. (**I bought them while Haruhi was shopping**)

"I mean can't they go buy their own snacks?"

"Well…" Haruhi swallowed her Twinkie before continuing. "I kind of owe them money for accidently breaking an expensive vase of theirs. And now I'm working as their dog until I pay off my dept."

**'_OH I SEE! I'm still at the very beginning of the manga. Haruhi's not even a Host yet._' **My inner self exclaimed.

"Ha-ha really? That sucks Haruhi." I laughed out as we neared music room 3.

"Senpai not to seem rude but what's your name?** (^_^")**" Haruhi asked as she reached for the door handle.

**'_Crap, what do I say! Do I tell her my real name is Valerie? W__ait I'm dressed as a guy so do I give myself a dude's name? Come on Valerie think! Think, think, think …LIGHTBULB!_'**

With a name in mind. I turned and face Haruhi.

"Just call me Vince." I replied just as she opened the door.

_*Door opens. Blinding light. Soft music. Girls giggling and talking*_

End.

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><p>Hope it wasn't to bad! So review and let me know what I can do to make my writing skills better. Aslo I'm sorry for any misspellings and punctuation mistakes I've made.<p>

And if anyone is confused and can't really follow the story leave me a messge with your questions and I'll try and clear things up.

UNTIL NEXT TIME!

READand REVIEW please.


	2. Chapter 2

I DO NOT OWN THE SHOW/MANGA HOST CLUB! That honor belongs to some other awesome person.

ON WITH THE STORY!

READ and REVIEW please

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><p><em>*Door opens. Blinding light. Girls giggling and talking*<em>

"Ahhhh, Haruhi! Human shield!" I screamed as I grabbed Haruhi and hid behind her while we were pelted with rose petals.

"Pssst Haruhi is it safe?" I asked poking out behind her.

"Yes Vince sempai. It's safe."

"Does the rose attack happen every time you open this door?" I sweat dropped

"Yeah" Haruhi sighed.

"Well what are we waiting for let's go give these guys their snacks!" I said marching further into the room. While I was walking the girls erupted into whispered murmurs.

"_Huh? Who's that boy walking with Haruhi?"_

"_Is he a new student?"_

"_Is he the Host Club's new member or something?"_

"_He's kind of cute! Right Kumiko?"_

'_**WH-What? Do these girls really think I'm a boy? Are all the girls at this school slow?" **_I thought.

"Well speak of the devil, here he comes now. Thanks for doing the shopping little piglet. Did you get everything on our list?" Tamaki asked as we made our way over to him.

"Did he just call you a pig?" I asked while jerking my thumb at Tamaki. Haruhi ignored my question and handed Tamaki the coffee she got him.

"Hey wait a minute. What is this?" Tamaki said confused.

"I don't know about you but that looks like coffee to me." I said leaning over the couch to get a better look.

"I mean I've never seen this brand before. Is this the kind that's already ground?" Tamaki asked.

"What do you mean its instant coffee?" Haruhi said.

"Whoa! I've heard of this before its commoner's coffee. You just add hot water!" Tamaki said.

As Tamaki went on and on about commoners coffee, I decided to walk over to one of the windows.

'_**Hmm I wonder… THERE IT IS! It's the fountain with the little peeing boy! Hahaha maybe I can get a picture with it later and post it on Facebook? That way I'll have some proof of me being here.'**_

My inner thoughts were interrupted by a ruckus behind me. Apparently Tamaki and his fan club decided to gather around the table in front of the window I was looking out of. I made my way over to Haruhi just as she finished pouring water into the last tea cup.

"Let the tasting begin!" Tamaki said striking a pose.

"_I'm a little scared to drink this."_ One girl spoke out.

"_I'm afraid if I drink it my father will yell at me." _Spoke another girl. Tamaki went over to her and ballroom style dipped her.

"What if I let you drink it from my mouth?" he asked her seductively.

"Have you ever heard of Mono?" I dead panned. But I was ignored. (T_T)

"_Well then I would drink it."_ The girl answered dazed.

"This is ridiculous." Haruhi mumbled

"I agree completely." I replied draping my arm over her shoulder and shaking my head.

After the whole "Coffee" fiasco I decided to sit at the window where I was earlier and watch everyone's Hostly talents. Hikaru and Kaoru had this sort of "I'm in love with my brother" thing going on. Kyoya looked more like he was making business deals instead of actually hosting. Honey and Mori had the cute and silent thing, and surprisingly it was working for them. When I looked over to my friend Haruhi all of the host were gathered around her.

'_**Hmm I guess this is the part where Haruhi gets her big make over, huh?'**_ I thought.

When Hikaru took off Haruhi's glasses I saw his eyes widen. Tamaki pushed him and his brother out of the way and soon Tamaki was calling out orders.

"_Umm excuse me?"_

Turning my head I jumped. I was so caught up in watching the host man handle Haruhi I hadn't noticed all of their customers gather around me.

"Uh yes can I help you?" I asked with a friendly smile.

"_Umm we were wondering if, maybe, we could ask you a couple of questions." _asked a girl with strawberry blonde hair and baby blue eyes.

"I don't mind. So what did you… lovely ladies want to know?" I said with a smile. All of the girls blushed and all at once ambushed me with all kinds of questions.

"_What's your favorite color?"_

_"How old are you?"_

_"Are you good friends with Haruhi?"_

_"Are you going to become the host clubs new member?"_

_"Are you a 3rd year like Honey and Mori sempai?"_

_"Sempai if you become a host can I be your fist customer?"_

_"Sempai what's your name?"_

Blinking I looked back at all of the girls.

"Those sure are a lot of questions." I said rubbing my chin. "But I'll try to answer them all. I'm 18 years old so I guess I am a 3rd year with Honey and Mori. Yes, I'm good friends with Haruhi. No, I don't have a girlfriend," I heard some of the girls sigh with relief, "I'm not sure if I'll become a host yet but sure you can be my first customer. And finally my name is Vince… umm…. Yo-shi? Pleasure to meet you all!" I bowed my head hoping they didn't catch the lie about my name.

When I got no response I looked up to find all the girls blushing with hearts in their eyes

"_Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! So cute!" _they squealed_._

While the girls were busy squealing and "kya-ing" I noticed the Hosts making their way over to us. Haruhi was with them to but she didn't look like the Haruhi I met before.

Her hair had been professionally cut, her glasses were gone, and she was decked out in the fancy male uniform of Ouran academy.

While the customers returned to their designated Host I walked over to Haruhi.

"Nice new look you got there buddy." I said

"Thanks Vince sempai!" Haruhi smiled.

"No problem. Oh and don't worry your secret's safe with me. ^^"

"WH-what?" Haruhi stuttered."

"You'll figure it out. Well I'm gonna go for a walk see ya when I get back." I called over my shoulder as I walked out the door leaving a stunned Haruhi behind.

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><p>Well how bad did I do this time? REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW!<p>

UNTIL NEXT TIME!


	3. Chapter 3

I DO NOT OWN THE SHOW/MANGA HOST CLUB! That honor belongs to another awesome person.

Here's another chapter enjoy! ^^

READ and REVIEW please

ON WITH THE STORY!

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><p>"12." I called out walking out of the restroom.<p>

"That makes 12 restrooms I've walked into thinking it was an exit!" I said giving an exasperated sigh.

Continuing down the hall I saw something weird. Now Ouran is known for its pink color scheme, but why is there a Black wood door in this hallway? (Me: 10 points if you can figure out who's behind that door! XD)

_**'Hmm maybe this will lead me outside?...Or it could be another restroom (-_-)'**_ I thought as I walked closer to the door.

"Well there's only one way to find out." I said and walked into the room.

Once the door closed behind me I was engulfed by darkness.

**_'What the... Why is this restroom so dark?'_**

"WHOA!" I tripped. "Owwwww..."

_"Ho ho ho..."_ Creepy laughter sounded through the darkness. (Me: sorry for the 'ho ho ho' but if you read the manga you'll understand why I put it)

"Santa Claus?" I sweat dropped._** 'Why would Santa trip me in the dark?'**_

All of a sudden candles were turned on all around the room. In the dim glow of the candles light I saw a cloaked figure sitting in a throne like chair. It was when the figure got up and floated towards me that I started to panic.

_**'OH MAN! I'm starting to miss the idea of this being restroom number 13!'**_ I mentally whined.

Still laying on my stomach I caterpillar crawled away from the Santa Claus wanna be.

_**'Crawl, crawl, crawl, cr-Oh hello what's this thing?'**_

While I was making my wormy escape my hand bumped into something cold and metal like.

_**'What is this? Wait is this a flashlight! Hmm I wonder how this ended up here...'**_ I thought.

_Back at the club with Hikaru and Kaoru_

_"Hey Hikaru?"_ Kaoru called out to his brother.

_"Yeah Kaoru?"_ Hikaru said.

_"Do you know what happened to our flashlight?"_ Kaoru asked.

_"Umm..."_ Came Hikaru's reply.

_Back with Valerie aka Vince_

_"Ho ho ho…"_ _**'Oh No creepy laughing kid is getting closer!'**_

"_Hello my dear welcome to the Black Magic Club. I'm Umehito Nekosaw," _***Click*** _"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" _

"Hey it is a flashlight! And it works! Huh? Where did that guy go?" I asked swinging the flashlight around like a light saber.

"Heeey! Creepy emo kid? How do I get out of here!" I called out into the dark.

_"Th-through there."_ Came a whimpered reply.

Flashing the light around I found the boy hiding under his throne like chair pointing at a door with a neon red EXIT over it.

"Hey look the creepy emo kid was Nekosawa all along." I mumbled under my breath.

Making my way to the exit I opened the door, "GAH!"... only to be temporarily blinded by the sudden light. Opening my eyes I saw that the door headed right out into the gardens.

"Sweet I'm outside! Now to find that fountain of the peeing statue and take a picture for Facebook." I said stepping out into the light.

"Bye bye Nekosawa!" I called over my shoulder throwing the flashlight back into the dark room... still on.

_"MMMAHHHHHHHHHH!" _I heard a muffled scream through the closed door.

~~~5 minutes later~~~

"Right, left, another left, right... umm... I think I'm lost." I said taking another right through the garden maze.

"Oh well I'm sure if I keep walking I'll eventually end up at the pond." I said.

"Right, right, left, right, left, another left….GAH THIS I S GETTING ME NOWHERE!" ***SPLASH*** "Huh? What was that?" I asked

**_'It sounded like it came from the other side of this bush.'_**

Peeking through the maze wall I could see the fountain of the peeing boy. **_'Hey I found it!'_** I thought as I walked right through the maze wall. On the other side the pond was in full view, and so was something else.

_~Back in the club with Haruhi~_

_"Huh? Where's my bag?"_ Haruhi asked.

_"Are you kidding? But how did that happen? I didn't think there were any bullies at this school. I guess they're everywhere."_ Haruhi said as she looked out the window down at the pond where her stuff was thrown.

Running down the halls and past people Haruhi was stopped by a girl's voice.

_"Oh it's you,"_ the girl mocked.

_"I bet you love having Tamaki making you over and fawning over you. It's useless though because you'll always only be a second class citizen."_ When the girl was finished, she walked away.

_~Back in the gardens with Valerie Aka Vince~_

Standing at the edge of the pond, I saw Haruhi's school bag floating in the water.

**_'So this is the part where the evil girl Ayanokoji picks on Haruhi…. She'll get what she deserves soon.'_** I thought.

"Haruhi will be here soon and so will Tamaki. I better go hide." I said and dived back in to the bushes as my hiding place. A few seconds later, I heard footsteps from the other side of the pond shortly followed by feet splashing in the water.

Looking through I saw Haruhi in the pond fishing out her belongings, shortly after Tamaki showed up.

_"Hey commoner you've got some nerve to skip club activities, huh? How did your stuff get wet?"_

_"I umm… dropped it out the window."_ Haruhi answered him.

While they were talking, I looked over at the window and saw the shadow of the wicked witch Ayanokoji watching Haruhi and Tamaki having their moment.

"Zoom in...…" ***Snap, Snap* "**Heh gotcha! Hmm in some way I feel like a paparazzi stalking the Kardashians or something." I said looking through the pictures I took of Ayanokoji.

"Well I'm off." I said crawling out of the bush on the side away from Haruhi and Tamaki. "Gotta get these pictures to Kyoya." I said looking back at the peeing statue. I sighed. "Oh well, maybe next time my friend."

Getting through the "Host Club Rose Petal Attack" at the door I made my way over to Kyoya, camera in hand.

_~Kyoya's POV~_

I was currently sitting at my table looking over the clubs profits of the day on my laptop when a shadow fell over me. Thinking it was the twins I didn't look up.

_"Hikaru, Kaoru I'm busy. Go bother our host club king if you're looking for entertainment."_

"ERRR! Wrong! Would you like to take another guess?" replied a voice that did not belong to he twins.

Looking up I saw that I was indeed wrong. Standing before me was a boy I've never seen before dressed in the male uniform of the school. He had long brown hair pulled back into a tight ponytail with some hair hanging over his eyes. (Me: not in an emo way just choppy bangs like the rest of the hosts.) From what I could see, he was tall maybe close to the twins' height. He had two piercings on the left ear and one on the right.

_'Who is this guy?'_ I thought

"Nah I guess you wouldn't considering you have no idea who I am. But I do have something that might catch your eye." He said and placed a camera on the table.

"Take a look through these pictures I'm sure you'll understand. And while you do I'm gonna go have a seat." He called out as he walked over to a window and sat down looking out.

_~Valerie Aka Vince PoV~_

"Oh look." I mumbled as I looked out the window. "Here comes Haruhi and Tamaki."

When Haruhi and Tamaki finally made it back to the club, I was sitting with some of Haruhi other customers eating some cookies.

While they were gushing, about random girly fantasies and what not my attention was focused solely on Haruhi and her current customer.

**_'Ayanokoji'_** I mentally sneered.

From all the way across the room you could feel the evil rolling off her. From far away it would look like she was having a normal conversation with Haruhi, but I know differently.

Then in a blink of an eye Ayanokoji went from shock still to landing on the floor screaming bloody murder with Haruhi on top of her. All of the other customers were quiet as Ayanokoji shouted lies about Haruhi attacking her. No one believed her.

Standing I made my way over to the scene. Stopping nest to Kyoya I was able to hear what was being said.

_"Do something Tamaki Haruhi just attacked me."_ came more lies out of Ayanokoji's mouth.

_"I'm very disappointed in you. You threw his bag into the pond didn't you?"_ said Tamaki.

_"You don't know that! Do you have any proof that I did?"_

Glancing at Kyoya I was able to see my camera sticking out of his pocket.

_"You know? You're a beautiful girl but I'm afraid you aren't classy enough to be our guess dear. If there's one thing I know Haruhi is not that kind of man."_

_"Why Tamaki? Y-You Idiot!"_ screamed Ayanokoji as she ran out of the room. When she was gone, Tamak turned to Haruhi.

_"Hmm now how am I going to punish you? Cause it is your fault. YOUR QUOTA IS NOW 1,000!"_ Tamaki said pointing at Haruhi.

_"One… thou…sand?"_ Haruhi stuttered.

**_'I'm sorry Haruhi but at least I got rid of the wicked witch Ayanokoji!_**' I thought.

While Kyoya gave Haruhi the spare uniform, I made my way over to my forgotten cookies and tea.

Munching on my cookies Kyoya came over to my table. He did not say anything just placed my camera on the table and turned to face the changing room.

"You're welcome Kyoya!" I said in a sing song voice.

Leaning back in my chair I Tamaki pulls back the curtain to the dressing room Haruhi was in.

_"Here you go Haruhi I brought you some towels."_

"And here comes the awkward staring moment…" I mumbled behind Kyoya.

_"Haruhi?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"So you're a girl?"_

_"Biologically speaking, Yeah."_ She said stepping out of the dressing room wearing a dress.

_"AAHHHHHJJHDFJAJLKAGKJT!"_ Tamaki screamed.

While Tamaki freaked out, I was playing with Haruhi's Id.

_"Listen sempai I don't really care if you guys recognize as a boy or a girl. In my opinion it is more important for whom you are than what sex you are."_

_"Well isn't this an interesting development?"_ Kyoya asked.

_"Mm hmm"_ Mori, Honey, Hikaru, Kaoru, and myself all replied.

_"You know I have to say sempai I thought you were pretty cool earlier."_ Haruhi said to Tamaki causing him to blush.

"Hey look Tamaki a tomato head." I said pointing at Tamaki.

Kyoya turned his head to look at me. _"Now I might be wrong but I think we may be witnessing the beginnings of love here." _Kyoya said.

"Geez Kyoya don't you ever get tired of being a know it all?" I asked but got no reply.

_"Being a Host and getting fussed over by a bunch of girls might not be bad. I wonder how I'll pull it off."_ Haruhi asked aloud.

"I KNOW!" I said walking in front of Haruhi. "You can call people Dudes and Bros form now on."

Haruhi nodded and started to laugh. _"Good idea Vince sempai!"_ she said between giggles.

_"Hey Haruhi who is this boy? And how does he know my precious daughter!" _Tamaki asked pulling on Haruhi's skirt.

_"Oh this is my new friend Vince sempai we met earlier today."_ Haruhi said.

"Nice to meet you everyone! My name is Vince **Yoshi**… But you can call me Vince." (Me: HAHAHA XD)

**_'WTF! YOSHI? What do you think you are Valerie? A green dinosaur from Mario?'_** my thoughts screamed at me. **_'God save us...'_**

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><p>Hahaha So what do you guys think of Vince's last name? Pretty cool huh? ;D<p>

Well how bad did i do this time? REVIEW SO I CAN FIND OUT!

UNTIL NEXT TIME!

_**YOSHI!**_


	4. Chapter 4

I DO NOT OWN THE SHOW/MANGA HOST CLUB! That honor belongs to another awesome person.

ON WITH THE STORY!

* * *

><p><em>"Vince Yoshi?" <em>the hosts asked.

"Heh, heh yup" I sweat dropped laughing nervously. The silence that followed nearly killed me… that is until Tamaki started talking.

_"You're a half? Oh how wonderful so am I! That means that us half were destined to meet and befriend one another, Oh happy day! You know blah, blah, blah, blah…"_

_"So Vince-Chan how old are you?"_ asked Honey from his seat on Mori's shoulders.

"Oh I'm 18." I said

_"What! Your older than Honey sempai?"_ everyone asked.

"Heh I guess so." I said rubbing the back of my neck.

_"Really Vince sempai? You look the same age as twins and me."_ Haruhi said.

"Yeah I get that a lot" I sweat dropped.

_"Well I say we've had a pretty eventful day. However since it is after club hours I say we all head home."_ Kyoya said

Everyone agreed and while they went about gathering their things, I headed for the door.

"Bye everyone! I'll come hangout with you tomorrow Haruhi!" I called over my shoulder closing the door behind me.

_**'Hmm since I'm not really from this world, I have no home hence, no bed. I wonder where I'm going to sleep.'**_ I thought folding my arms behind my head.

While walking through the empty halls I saw a familiar door and had an idea.

"I KNOW! I'll go stay in the black magic club. I'm sure Nekosawa won't mind." And with that I walked into the Black magic club to get some sleep.

_~With the hosts after Valerie left~_

_"Hey Kyoya why did you let him go?"_ Kaoru asked

_"Yeah he saw Haruhi as girl!"_ Hikaru added

"_Mother the devils are right! What are we going to do if he tells Haruhi's secret! DON'T WORRY HARUHI DADDY WILL SAVE YOU!"_ Tamaki spazzed out.

_"I don't think Vince-sempai will do that."_ Haruhi said.

_"I agree with Haruhi. After all Vince-sempai was the one who told me it was Miss Ayanokoji that was causing trouble for Haruhi."_ Kyoya told them.

_"So Vince-chan is a nice guy?"_ Honey asked out aloud.

_"Yeah"_ Mori said

_~The next day 20 minutes before the hosts arrive~_

***Yawn*** "Ah that was a good sleep. Even though I'm pretty sure I slept most of the day. Oh well time to go find out what Haruhi and her six men are doing."

Arriving at the club I walked right in not listening to the strange noises coming from inside. Opens door.

"What's this? Where am I? What happened to the host club?"

When I opened the door the whole place was decked out in a tropical paradise.

***Flap, flap, flap, thud*** "CAW, CAW!"

"Wahhh! Get off me Polly! I ain't got no crackers for you!" I screamed at the parrot that landed on my shoulder. After a minute of flailing my arms to get the bird away, I gave up.

"Hello? Hosts! Haruhi? Where is everyone?" Looking around I saw tables set up for the Hosts and their clients and a beautiful tyke hut bar with all the tea and snakes the club has to offer.

"Awck!" Steve squawked.

"Huh? What do you want Steve?" I asked the parrot.

"Awck!" Steve answered.

"Sorry I don't speak parrot Steve." I sighed and walked over to the tyke hut, Steve still yapping away on my shoulder thinking I could understand him. Walking around the counter I leaned on the bar like a bartender.

"Hmm I guess everyone is still in class… this IS a school after all." I mumbled looking around the room.

After a while of standing I sat down behind the bar perfectly hidden with Steve sitting comfortably on my shoulder. Grabbing a box of cookies, that were probably for the guests, I began to eat. Half way through the box I heard the door open followed by the voices of Tamaki and Kyoya.

_"Wow kyoya the room looks great!"_ Tamaki exclaimed starry eyed.

_"Indeed the decorators did a good job"_ Kyoya said writing in his book. Not long after the door opened again and the voices of the twins and honey **(Me: since Mori doesn't talk -_-)** were heard.

_"Wow Takashi, look at all the pretty flowers!" _Honey says

_"Yeah"_ Mori answers his cousin.

_"Okay men the princesses will be here soon so let's get into costume."_ Tamaki said

"Does he always have to be so dramatic?" I asked Steve (the parrot) who had stoke the cookie I was about to eat out of my hand.

"Heeey!" I quietly whined.

While the host were off changing the sound of excited girls started to grow louder the longer they took. When the host finally opened the door to their fans Steve and I jumped from the screams they let loose.

"Geez, do they have to scream every time they see them?" I asked getting a loud squawk from Steve.

_"Hmm it seems we have a stow-a-way"_

"UH OH." Squawked Steve

Looking up I was met with the face of Kyoya looking over the bar counter. I was caught.

"Heh heh heh Kyoya buddy, wh-what's up?" I asked getting to my feet.

_"What are you doing hiding behind the bar?"_ he demanded getting straight to the point.

Leaning my elbows on the counter imitating a bartender I answered.

"Oh you know just… working on my skills as a bartender? Oh and waiting for Haruhi."I said looking around the room seeing the girls squeal and faint over their hosts. I could see Kyoya giving me a suspicious look in the corner of my eye.

**_'I wonder if he's figured out my little secret yet.'_** I thought.

While Kyoya left to go greet the new guests, I was left with Steve. The crazy parrot was yapping away ruffling its colorful feathers.

"You act just like Tamaki… conceited bird." I muttered

Looking back to the door I saw Haruhi walk in.

_"Welcome"_ the hosts called out.

_"You finally made it Haruhi. You're so late."_ The twins said after they realized it was just Haruhi.

_"I could be wrong but my calendar says it's still early spring"_ Haruhi said pulling out her pocket calendar.

_"Huddling under a katatsu fearing the cold is nonsense. And besides our heating system is the best!"_ Tamaki said with a flamboyant pose. Looking at Steve I sighed.

"Yup definetly like Tamaki." I deadpanned

_"Do you have a problem with the way we run our club Haruhi? Be careful with what you say you do owe us 8 million yen remember._" Kyoya said with a evil glint in his eye.

"So evil" I whispered but I swear I saw Kyoya's head twitch in my direction.

"Uh oh" said Steve

_"Gentlemen don't bundle up in bulky clothing. It maybe chilly early spring out there in the real world but here in the club we want to surprise our chilly little kittens with a warm tropical paradise. Oh yes we've turned this place into Nirvana, a beautiful island of everlasting summer!"_ Tamaki exclaimed

"Geez that was a mouthful." I sweat dropped. Steve bobbed his head up and down in agreement.

Making his way over to Kyoya settled into his pervious spot by the bar.

_"You can't keep the bird."_ he said, not even looking up at me.

"Aww but he likes me." I replied poking Steve on his tiny bird chest.

"Awck!" Steve cawed bobbing his head up and down.

_"Hmph"_ soon after Haruhi walked over

"Hey Haruhi" I said giving her a smile.

_"The guest seem to be more worked up than usual."_ Haruhi said as we watched the twins in their 'I love my brother' act.

_"Showing some skin proves popular with the ladies."_ Kyoya said

_"So are you the one that came up with this tropical paradise idea?"_ Haruhi asked

"Nope I believe the decision making goes to Tamaki, right Kyoya?" I asked **_'Even though I already know the answer to that…'_** I thought.

_"True but I guess there's no harm in admitting to casually slipping a Bali picture book on my desk."_

**_'So he's the real brains behind the this operation.'_** Haruhi, Steve, and I thought.

After Haruhi returned back to her table, leaving me and Steve with the dreaded shadow king.

Dot. Dot. Dot.

"Gay baby" I mumbled

_"So Vince sempai will you be attending the dance sponsored by the host club? Since you're friends with Haruhi I assume you will."_ Kyoya said

"I'm pretty sure that was a rhetorical question but since I wanna annoy you I'll answer anyway. Sure Kyoya I'd love to go to the little dance with you." I said while making Steve dance on the bar counter.

_"He's so cute Vince sempai!"_

_"Yeah is he yours?"_

_"What's his name?"_ looking up I noticed Kyoya's clients gathered around the bar watching Steve, the dancing parrot. Catching Kyoyas' eye I smirked. Turning to the girls I smiled.

"Oh this little guy? His name is Steve and unfortunately no he's not mine" I pouted.

_"Aw why?"_ they asked I could see Kyoya giving me a curious glance.

"Kyoya won't let me keep him" I finished smiling down sadly petting Steve, the crazy bird playing along.

_"Aww!"_

_"That's so sad!"_

_"How unfair of Kyoya!"_

I could see Kyoya's stare change to one of absolute fury.

**_'Well I'm dead…. Oh well might as well milk this thing'_** I thought

"You know I bet if you lovely ladies talk to Kyoya he might change his mind. I mean who can resist your beauty?" I told them making them blush.

"Uh oh" Steve cried out

_"Kyoya you should let Steve and Vince sempai stay together!"_

_"Yeah they look too cute together."_

_"Have a heart Kyoya sempai!"_

As the girls begged and whined Steve and I were laughing off to the side.

~After club hours~

"Uh oh! Uh oh! Uh oh!"

"Shut up Steve" I groaned, "geez Kyoya you didn't have to hit me so hard. I might have a concussion." I moaned from my seat next to Haruhi, Steve perched on her head.

You see after the club ended me and Steve were relaxing on a couch the movers had brought back into the room when all of a sudden Steve started freaking out.

*Flash back*

"Uh Oh, Uh Oh!"

"What's wrong Steve?" I asked my birdy friend.

"UH OH, UH OH!" Steve squawked flapping his wings frantically. Feeling a wave of panic I turned around to look behind me, but I was to slow.

***WHACK!***

*Flash back end*

_"That's what you get for using the guests to keep the bird."_ Kyoya said from the other side of Haruhi sending me a glare.

"Yeah but still… oww my head_"_ (me: aww poor Valerie)

_"Hey boss!"_

_"Why don't you stop eating that commoner's roman and come help with the party planning?" _

_"Does it really bother you that princess Kasuga has taken a liking to Haruhi?"_ the twins shouted at Tamaki from across the room.

_"He shouldn't be surprised she's had the illness for a while no hasn't she?"_ kyoya asked

_"What illness?" _Haruhi asked confused

"The host hopping disease_"_ I said

_"Aka the never the same host twice disease" _Hikaru and Kaoru said in unison.

_"Usually customers pick their favorite host and stick with them but princess Kasuga changes hosts… often"_ Kyoya clarified.

_"Yeah because before Kasuga went with you she was with Tama-chan!"_ Honey piped in playing with my long hair.

_"Oh so he's upset cause I took her from him."_ Haruhi asked

"Pretty much" I replied watching as Steve jumped from Haruhi's head to Mori's.

_"Shut up I couldn't care less! Ugh I'm running out of patience. Haruhi it's time you start dressing like a girl!"_ Tamaki shouted.

_"Huh?"_ Haruhi said

_"I don't understand how you can be so popular with the ladies when you yourself are a lady! No one in this entire school knows the truth except those of us here!"_

_"Yes, yes it's true!"_ Hikaru and Kaoru said

Running off to the back Tamaki returned with a chest labeled 'King's Stuff' and pulled out a blown out picture of Haruhi from her middle school days.

_"Daddy wants you to go back to the way you use to look!"_Tamaki shouted

_"Don't go going blowing up my pictures without asking first!"_ Haruhi shouted back.

_"I just don't get it. How did this go from that?"_ Hikaru asked pointing at Haruhi while they crowded around Haruhi's picture.

_"The day before school started some kid got some gum in my hair. It's a real pain to get gum out of long hair so I just cut it, I don't care if people think I'm a dude."_ Haruhi told everyone.

_"GIRLS SHOULD NEVER REFER TO THEIRSELFS AS DUDES! MOMMA! Haruhi is using those dirty boy words Vince sempai thought her."_ Tamaki cried falling to the floor with a handkerchief covering his mouth.

_"Who's momma?"_ Kaoru asked

_"That, my dear friend, would be our lovely mother Kyoya"_ I told him draping my arm over his shoulder.

While we watched Haruhi yell at Tamaki some more, Hikaru cut her off.

_"Not to change the subject but do you have formal dance experience? You're gonna need it for the dance." _He said from my right.

_"Uh no but that has nothing to do with my debt right?"_ Haruhi called out nervously.

"Blah blah blah blah…" I drowned out Tamaki as I made my escape to the door.

"Bye everyone" I mumbled out thinking no one was paying attention until I was stopped by Kyoya.

_"You need to be here tomorrow with Haruhi to learn formal dance as well Vince sempai."_ Kyoya said glaring at Steve as he flew pass\s him and landed on my head.

"Aye aye captain" Steve said with me throwing in a mock salute on queue.

~Next day~

_"Quick, quick, slow. Quick, quick, slow. Good job Haruhi."_ I heard Kasuga tell Haruhi while I was taking turns riding the Mori spin machine with Honey and Steve.

"Ha-ha somehow I don't think this is what Kyoya meant by learning to dance."I laughed falling to the floor from dizziness while Steve flew around Honey and Mori who were spinning again.

_"Hello? I'm here with the tea cups you ordered."_

Turning to the door, there was a boy as tall as Kyoya wearing a beige/ yellow sweater instead of the regular Ouran male uniform. He had brown hair with black eyes carrying with him a yellow box.

**_'Hey this must be that Suzushima kid… hey wait does this mean im still only in the second episode of Host club?' _**

_"Ah thank you very much. Every item you've chosen has been extremely popular with the ladies. I'm impressed." _Kyoya said

_"Well that's good to hear"_ Suzushima smiled

_"So do you sell tea sets?"_ Haruhi asked

_"No I'm just a regular student. Cant you tell by the uniform?"_ Suzushima joked

_"Ha-ha oh Haruhi you're so funny! I can't blame you for not knowing though. After all he doesn't look like the heir to a first class company." _Kasuga said causing everyone to look her way.

_"First Calss Company?"_

While Kyoya explained to everyone about Suzushima's family business, I was staring at Kasuga. Even from my spot on the floor I could feel the sadness rolling off her.

_"Well I better get going now. Good bye" _Suzushima was gone.

"Miss Kasuga? Are you enjoying the host club?" I called out making her jump.

_"I have a feeling you and that guy are pretty close." _Haruhi said walking over to her.

_"Wha-what? N-N-No we hardly know each other! Whatever would give you that idea? Well if you'll excuse me, good bye"_ she said practically running out of the room.

"Well that was suspicious." I muttered

"Suspicious!" Steve squawked

_"Haru-chan guess what? They do know each other. Suzu-chan and Kasu-chan are engaged!"_ Honey sang out jumping onto Haruhi's back.

_"Engaged?"_

_"Kyoya how long have you known this?"_ Tamaki asked

_"About the engagement? Well as you know I run a general search on all our customers."_ he answered

"Shocker, Tell me Kyoya what have you found out about me?" I asked egging him on, all I got in reply was a dirty glare thrown my way. **_'Score one for Valerie' _**I inwardly smirked.

_"The two of them were childhood friends. It seems their engagement was set up by their parents. I didn't think the information was important so I disregarded it."_

_"I see."_ Tamaki said.

_"Tohru Suzushima. Outstanding grades, very sociable, he's ordinary looking but reliable if I had to fault him for anything."_

_"He doesn't have much presence," _Hikaru started

_"And he's faint hearted."_ and Kaoru finished.

_"So in other words he's boring"_ Kyoya concluded albeit harshly.

"Wow guys …. You're all so mean" I told them

_"Suzushima is good boy right?"_ Honey asked

"Yeah" Mori, Steve, and I answered him

_"Alright everyone we have to work on our strategy!"_ Tamaki spoke up strangely serious

_"Which one?"_ we asked. **_'As if I don't already know his silly plan'_** I thought.

_"Men it is our responsibility, as the elite Ouran host club, to make every girl happy."_

~One week later~  
>(Hour before the dance.)<p>

_"Here Vince sempai Kyoya said to put this on." _Haruhi said handing me a bag.

_"It's your clothes for the dance I guess you have to suffer with me tonight too."_

"Oh I don't know Haruhi. Something totally unexpected might happen tonight." I told her hiding the smirk in my voice

_"Huh? What do you mean!"_

Ignoring her question I walked into the dressing room pulling my outfit out of the bag.

"Whoa…"

Inside the bag was a deep red Armani sleeveless shirt with a black blazer to go over, black Armani skinny jeans, a black belt with two chains hanging off it, and a classy/casual black tie to hold it all together. I had just finished doing the jeans dance and pulling the red shit over my head when I noticed something. **(Me: sorry I have no idea if Armani really make any of these clothes ;/ forgive me)**

"Hey what shoes am I suppose to wear? Are they hiding in the bag?" I asked sticking my face in said bag.

"Awck! Shoes, shoes!" I hear Steve cry behind me. Turning I found him playing tug-a-war with the laces of my red all star chucks.

"Steve you're a Fashion Guru!" I said running over to my chucks, putting them on. Grabbing the blazer and tie, I walked out of the dressing room and over to Haruhi.

~Haruhi's POV~  
>(OMG NO WAY, HEY HARUHI! *waves*)<p>

_"Hey Haruhi can you help me with my tie?"_

Looking up I saw Vince sempai dressed in his outfit walking over waving his tie above his head. **_'Why couldn't I have my outfit be cool like Vince sempai's?'_** I thought.

"Sure Vince sempai" I said taking the tie from his hand.

_"Thanks for the help Haruhi. Normally I wouldn't be wearing a tie."_

"It's okay sempai" I told him. I just finished with the knot, leaving it loose, when my fingers brushed against something soft and round on Vince's chest. **_'Was that…!'_** I thought my eyes widening when I figured out what the soft round thing was.

**_'Vince sempai is a girl?'_** my mind screamed. I looked up to see if **she** noticed, she didn't.

_"Hey thanks Haruhi!"_ Vince said smiling at me then walking to the door putting on her black blazer, Steve flying behind her. **_'Is Vince even her name or did she make it up?'_**

_"Come one Haruhi! Tamaki's gonna freak if were late to his little party and I don't want the drama QUEEN up in my face!"_ Vince sempai's voice from the hall, cutting off my thoughts.

Silence.

"Vince sempai is really a …girl?"

~Valerie's POV Dance~

_"It's so good to see you here tonight my little lambs. The Ouran host club, plus one, would like to bid you welcome."_ Tamaki finished all of the chandeliers turning on one by one, classic music started to play, and all the girls in the room began to applaud. I was standing at the top of the stairs in the middle with the rest of the hosts at my sides.

_"As always ladies the host club members, plus one, are here for your entertainment. So we invite you to dance to your heart's content. Based on her dancing skills, one luck lady will be chosen as tonight's queen. The queens reward will be a passionate kiss one the cheek from our king."_ Kyoya addressed everyone pointing to Tamaki.

_"Good luck my darlings"_ Tamaki said making every girl sprout hearts.

_"~KYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!~"_

_"Haruhi show some enthusiasm!"_ Hikaru and Kaoru said in unison.

_"Well excuse me guys sorry. I'm just not use to this kind of thing. I've only ever been to the festivals held in my neighborhood park!"_ Haruhi said sweat dropping.

_"I don't know if you can really count that as a party or not."_ Kyoya said

_"I've been to a carnival before…. Does that count?"_ I asked. Mori looked down at me and shook his head no.

_"Well since you're already here you might as well get something to eat. We've got quite the spread"_ Kyoya said to Haruhi.

_"A spread?"_ she whispered _"with fancy tuna?"_ she asked.

_"Fan-"_

_"-cy" _

_"Tuna!"_ the hosts all said shocked. Tamaki flipped over the rail of the landing above us landing neatly between Haruhi and the twins.

_"Get some fancy tuna right now!" _Tamaki demanded pointing his finger a Kyoya who was already on his phone.

_"Add some deluxe sushi."_ He said snapping his phone shut.

"TUNA! TUNA!"

"Shush! Steve be quiet!"

"TUNA! TUNA!" Steve squawked then flew off, my guess, to find tuna.

_"Alright men it's time to dance."_ Tamaki said walking down the great stairs. I was about to follow when the rail caught my eye. I got an idea. Walking over to the rail I hopped on and push off sliding past the hosts.

"WOOOHOOO! Whoa!" landing at the bottom I bumped into a girl almost knocking us over.

_"Oh my!"_ she started to fall but I caught her arm in the last second.

"I'm sorry "I said setting her right "it's just your beauty had me so stunned my legs wouldn't work properly, forgive me?" I said trying to be smooth.

_"O-okay"_ she stuttered out, hearts in her eyes

"Right well enjoy the dance!" I waved to her feeling weird be her stare and made my way through the sea of females.

_"Nice save back there Vince sempai."_ Called a deep voice from behind me.

"Whoa girl you have a deep voi-Oh Kyoya it's you!" I laughed while Kyoya gave a dirty glare.

_"As I was saying before you interrupted, nice save. That girl is still dazed_." he said pointing behind me. Looking in the fingers direction I saw the girl I bumped into swaying side to side still with hearts in her eyes.

"Well what do ya'know? I might give you hosts a run for your money." I said giving Kyoya a side long glance.

_"Well seeing as you have already been seen around the club I don't see why not. Now go start entertaining our guest."_ Kyoya said giving me a 'Do it now' look before turning back to his dance partner.

"Geez first day on the job and I'm already being bossed around… evil shadow jerk."

Continuing my walk through the sea of girls I spotted Haruhi leaning on a pillar and decided to make my way over. I stopped though when I saw Kasuga walk up to step next to Haruhi.

Knowing what was coming next I turned and walked over towards the food table.

"Awck Tuna!"

_"Someone get this crazy bird away from here!"_

"Steve?" I mumbled and broke through the crowd. Once I made it to the front I saw a guy in a chef hat locked in an epic battle with Steve over a piece of sushi.

"Are you kidding me?" I gawked at the sight. Grabbing a bread stick off the table I whacked Steve on his tiny bird head, ending the nonsense. Everything around me got quiet. Throwing the bread stick back on the table I scooped up Steve off the floor and looked at every one. I made my eyes go half closed giving me that mysterious look. I could see people slightly move closer waiting to see what I was going to say. I looked down at Steve, unconscious in my hand, before pulling a Tamaki and dramatically looking up giving everyone the bad boy smolder resulting in some gasps to be heard in the crowd. Once again everyone leaned closer.

"I'm sorry my bird ate your fancy fish."

Dot. Dot. Dot.

_"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAH! SO COOL!"_ every girl screamed blushing and sprouting exploding hearts. Even the food staff and the guy with the chef hat were blushing.

**_'These people are crazy...'_** I thought watching the madness.

Eventually the hosts showed up, with the exception of Tamaki and Haruhi, and were momentarily stunned at the girl scream fest I was stuck in the middle of.

_"Ahem" _Kyoya cleared his throat and everyone fell silent. _"Ladies it's about time for a special event to take place. If I can direct you to the balcony."_ He gestured to the glass window doors leading outside. I followed as everyone made their way outside. Outside two search lights turned on revealing Kasuga and Suzushima, Suzushima holding on to her wrist.

_"Ladies and gentlemen it is now time to begin the final dance of this evening's festivies. The last waltz of the night has been chosen by the host club for this couple."_ Tamaki said pointing to Kasuga and Suzushima. From my spot on the rail I saw Suzushima release Kasuga's and bow down elegantly holding out one hand asking for a dance.

**_'Hmm even though I know what's gonna happen it still looks like she's gonna refuse to dance with him and run away again'_**I thought watching the two. Eventually she placed her smaller hand in his larger one and they started to dance.

_"Ah may this awkward couple be blessed."_ Tamaki said throwing his arms out forcing Haruhi to duck to avoid being hit.

_"And now we'll announce the queen of the ball."_ Said Hikaru

_"Congratulations Kanako Kasugaki!"_ Kaoru said each holding suspicious banana peels.

_"And now for the reward, A kiss on the cheek from the king"_ Kaoru said banana peel gone.

_"You ready-"_

_"Haruhi will stand in for Tamaki." _Kaoru cut him off, his banana peel also gone.

_"What?" _Tamaki and Haruhi exclaimed

"_Kyoya did say that a little accident during the end of the night might make things more interesting."_

"It does" I said from my spot on the rail swinging my feet back and forth.

_"There's no way I'm kissing her." _Haruhi dead panned

_"If you do it we'll cut your debt by one third."_ Kyoya said

_"Well it is just a peck one the cheek"_ Haruhi reasoned with herself. As Haruhi made her way down to Kasuga Honey went up to Tamaki who was being held back by the twins.

_"Hey you don't think this I Haru-chans first kiss do you?"_ Honey asked snapping Tamaki out of his daze.

_"WHAT?"_

"Uh oh!"

"Oh hey Steve you're finally not unconscious!"

Haruhi was just about to kiss Kasuga on the cheek when…

_"Wait Haruhi!"_ Tamaki superman jumped from the stairs, slipping the banana peel, and pushing Haruhi into Kasuga's unsuspecting lips.

"Haruhi's first kiss: check. Queue screaming fan girls" I said

_"KYAAAAAAAH!" _

"Well I say tonight ended well." I said loud enough for the remaining hosts to hear.

_"Yeah"_ they all agreed. And continued to watch the madness around us

"Now…queue the host club ending song" I said under my breath not really expecting to hear anything besides screaming girls. But over all the noise I could faintly hear the infamous host club ending song and I smiled.

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><p>Well how bad did i do this time? REVIEW SO I CAN FIND OUT!<p>

ps. if you have any ideas on what type Valerie should bee let me now you thoughts

UNTIL NEXT TIME!


	5. Chapter 5

**I DO NOT OWN THE SHOW/MANGA HOST CLUB! That honor belongs to another awesome person.**

**ON WITH THE STORY!**

* * *

><p>"Welcome Ladies!"<p>

It was the middle of spring here at Ouran. The cherry blossom trees were in full bloom, gracing us with their beauty. And the Host Club? Well we were gracing our clients with our beauty.

Today we were having club activities outside. Taking advantage of the nice weather. My hair was pulled back in to a French braid away from my face. It kinda looks like the hairstyle Angelina Jolie had in that movie Tomb Raider. The cosplay for today was classic waiter uniforms and traditional Japanese male kimonos.

Conveniently I was dress in the male kimono along with Haruhi, Mori, and Honey. My kimono was a twin of Haruhi's except mine was a rich cream color with a pink long shirt underneath and black kimono pants for my bottoms.

After welcoming in the girls we all went to work…. Well most of us always. Since I was fairly new and haven't been given my 'type' yet, I couldn't really host like everyone else.

So that just left me to do one thing… mess with my fellow host members while they worked.

**'Heh heh heh this should be fun!' **I thought evilly.

My first victim was the Host club queen, I mean king, Tamaki. I swaggered over to his area just as Tamaki was working his magic on a pretty brunette. They were talking about the tea cups or something.

"So which cup would my princess like her tea in? The Wurster, the Folly, perhaps the Susie cooper gardenia?" Tamaki asked.

**'Who the heck is Susie?'**I thought ubberly confused.

"They're beautiful; these are English antics aren't they? I don't know, which one do you like Tamaki?" the girl asked.

"Which one? Well none of these compare to my princess." Tamaki cooed taking the blushing brunettes hand placing a kiss on her knuckles.

"Oh wow I don't really know what to say." The girl replied.

**'HA this will be too easy!' **I inwardly laughed.

I smirked and moved forward pushing my head in between theirs, popping their little romantic bubble. Both blinked in surprise of my invasion and looked at me warily. Looking from face to face I inched even closer before wiggling my finger at them, beckoning them closer. When they did I looked around as if making sure no one else was listening in on our super-secret conversation.

"Tamaki," I whispered/ hissed "are you telling me that this beautiful girl's natural god given beauty only Barley surpasses that of the tea cups?!" I asked finishing with a mock gasp of horror covering my mouth with my kimono sleeve.

Pulling back my head and standing straight I looked at Tamaki with a look of shame. Shaking my head I turned the stunned brunette and bowed a bow of apology.

"Please, my lady, forgive Tamaki for his ill placed rudeness. He cannot help his lack of knowing what true beauty looks like. He cannot help that he is slow." With that said I stood again sending Tamaki a glare before walking away. As I walked I could was still able to hear what the girl said next.

"Tamaki…. how could you be so mean!?" she sniffled.

"Wha! Uh princess don't cry uh-ummm..." Tamaki panicked.

"Ha-ha mission accomplished Miss Bond." I mused moving on to my next victims who just so happened to be the demonic duo.

**.Time skips to end of club activities.**

When club was over and the customers were gone, we were all taking time to enjoy the flower viewing reception.

I was off in my own little world sitting under one of the cherry blossom trees. I was sitting Indian style and leaning back on my hands looking at the pink trees.

'**I wonder when I'll be able to go back home? Will I even be able to? Hmm… OH I KNOW! Maybe I'll able to return once I complete all the episodes to this anime.' **

I was distracted from my thoughts when I saw Tamaki trying to put the moves on Haruhi … again. Insert sweat drop here.

Since I was far enough way I couldn't really hear what was being said but I could see Tamaki waving his arms around like an idiot… like a really bad imitation of Captain Jack Sparrow.

"Speaking of pirates I wonder where the hell Steve disappeared to?"

Looking back to the guys and Haruhi I saw Tamaki randomly manhandling and a random white board showing to equally random pie charts.

So taking the weirdness as my queue I got up and made my way over to them. I stopped standing by Hikaru.

"Hey Hikaru what'd I miss?" I asked slipping my hands into the hidden pockets of my kimono pants.

"Nothing exciting just the boss freaking out about the upcoming physical exam."

I nodded in understanding.

"Hey how did you know I was Hikaru?" Hikaru asked as if just realizing I called him by name. He's a little slow isn't he?

"I'm magic." I answered casually.

He just gave a weird look.

**.Next day in music room 3.**

Since the physical exams were tomorrow host club was canceled this afternoon. We were all hanging out around the room. Honey and Mori were eating cake at a table near the window. Kaoru and hikaru were sitting on the couch texting… each other!? WTF? Kyoya was doing the obvious, typing away on his laptop. And Tamaki was sitting in a chair with a slightly disturbing daydream look on his face.

And what was my mature self doing? I was in my socks, sock staking around the club room. Steve was flying around following me.

I wasn't really listening when Tamaki and the others started talking about Haruhi and her hidden gender, but I did come to a sock sliding stop when Tamaki called everyone homos. Steve and myself included.

Sliding over to my fellow homos, and bumping into mori, I gave Tamaki the 'Really?' look.

"Hey king stupid, I think you overlooked one tiny detail in your plan." I crossed my arms.

"If word gets out that Haru-chan is a girl then she won't be able to be in the Host club anymore. But if Haruhi started wearing girls' clothes I bet she be even cuter then she is now!" Honey pointed out.

"And that means half the boys at school would be following her around like a lost puppies" I added nodding along in agreement.

Kyoya went on about the boys from Haruhi's old school declaring their love to her and whatnot. Then Hikaru and Kaoru started poking fun at Tamaki saying that they would still be able to see her cause they had the same classes. Then haruhi walked in and Tamaki started manhandling her again.

While everyone was distracted but Tamaki's retarded plan I grabbed my uniform shoes and sock skated over towards the unnoticed black door leading to black magic club. It was time for some sleep.

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><p><strong>Well how bad did i do this time? REVIEW SO I CAN FIND OUT!<strong>

**UNTIL NEXT TIME!**


	6. Chapter 6

**I DO NOT OWN THE SHOW/MANGA HOST CLUB! That honor belongs to another awesome person.**

**ON WITH THE STORY!**

* * *

><p><strong><span>.Day of the physical exams.<span>**

Today all the students were supposed to be gathered at the giant dance hall for physical examinations. Kyoya had everyone in position to help out with Tamaki's stupid plan.

I was suppose to be helping Honey and Mori, while disguised as a doter, as backup incase anything happened. ''Suppose" being the key word here.

Nah I got bored and decided to sneak away when kyoya and the cousins weren't looking. Kyoya's gonna kill me when he find out. So that's why I'm walking around in my doctors white coat eating a bowl of ramen noodles... DON'T JUGDE ME!

I just walked out of the garden maze arriving at the peeing fountain when I saw a kid sitting on the steps in front of the pond. He looked kind of depressing sitting there alone with his head down.

He looked to be around Hikaru, Kaoru, and Haruhi's age. But what really got my attention was his flaming red hair held up in a half pony.

**'I know that red hair!'** I thought and made my way over to the depressed red head. When I stopped in front of him he didn't even noticed me. In a way I felt like Kakashi whenever he sneaks up on Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke. But instead of a perverted love novel in my hand I had a bowl of delicious ramen.

"Hey kid what's wrong with you? You know you're suppose to be at the exams, right?" I asked with noodles hanging out of my mouth.

He jumped a little at the sudden noise then looked up. His eyes were wide with fearful confusion, sadness and … tears?

I guess he noticed me staring cause he furiously wiped his eyes on his blazers sleeve.

"No I'm fine Doctor-san. I didn't mean to skip out on the exams today." Kasanoda said getting up and bowing at me.

**'Do I really look like a doctor?'** I thought with a raised brow.

"Che, I didn't know tears meant someone was fine." I mused, smiling when he look up at me.

"So you wanna tell me what's really bothering ya?" I asked while shoveling more noodles into my mouth.

I looked up again when I didn't get an answer right away. Kasanoda was looking down and his shoes looking embarrassed.

"It's just I'm tired of people running away from me all the time because of my scary face. Just because I'm called the "Human blizzard" doesn't mean I'm a bad guy. Only my face is scary looking." He sighed letting his shoulder slump a little.

While he was telling me his story I was sitting intently eating my ramen (that seems never ending) when I spotted Steve flying a few feet above us.

I swallowed my ramen looking away from Steve and back at Kasanoda.

"I'm sure not everyone is scared of you, I mean look at me! I'm not running away screaming bloody murder at the sight at you. Besides Steve seems to like you." I said just as Steve landed on Kasanoda's shoulder and started nuzzling his cheek.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." He said laughing at the crazy bird showing him some birdy love.

"Of course I'm right, I am a doctor aren't I?" I joked pointing at my doctor's coat. "I'll even be your friend if you want and you can call me by my name Vince. And since I'm your senpai I'll give you a nickname like... Ponyboy." I said standing up and facing him.

"So what do you say?" I asked holding my hand out, "are we friends or what?"

Kasanoda looked stunned for a moment then glanced down at my hand, and then very slowly he put his hand in mine giving it a shake.

I smiled at him when we let go and playfully ruffled his hair. He looked up at me (still stunned by my awesomeness… I mean kindness) blushing a little.

"Well Ponyboy I have to get going but I'll see you around next time. Later!" and with that I walked away waving a hand over my shoulder as I walked into the maze again continuing to eat my ramen noodles with Steve flying behind me.

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><p><strong>Well how bad did I do this time? REVIEW SO I CAN FIND OUT!<strong>

**Yeah I know this chapter was nothing but a filler but I don't care I tell you! :)~**

**UNTIL NEXT TIME!**


	7. Chapter 7

**I DO NOT OWN THE SHOW/MANGA HOST CLUB! That honor belongs to another awesome person.**

**ON WITH THE STORY!**

* * *

><p><strong>.Creepy pervert doctor?.<strong>

I was walking down the hall eating an apple when I saw a group of nurses', doctors, and female students blocking my path. Getting closer I could see that everyone was clustered around a girl sitting on the floor crying.

She was going on and on about a doctor trying to make a move on her.

'**Pervert doctor? That sound like something pervy sage from Naruto would pull.' **I thought silently munching on my apple in thought.

I was pulled from my musing when I heard some security guards talking behind me.

"We just got confirmation from the captain that the imposter was see going in to the 'Special Boys' clinic." Security dude said and they took off down the hall.

Shoving my apple in my coat pocket I ran after them…. I ended up getting lost. So I took out my apple and started eating again walking around aimlessly.

I was still lost when I glanced over at Steve sitting on my shoulder then looked at my apple.

**'LIGHTBULB!'**

Cutting off a chunk of apple I held it in front of Steve catching his little bird attention.

"Hey Steve if you can get me to the 'Special Boys' clinic this piece of apple is all yours." I said waving the chunk back and forth in his face.

Steve's eyes shined with determination and with a war cry squawk he took off like a bullet.

When I finally reached the clinic everyone was looking out the window at some random man in a doctor coat. I ran up to everyone jumping onto Mori's back to look out the window too Steve sitting on his head eating his apple.

"Hey guys why are y'all watching that guy in the lab coat?" I asked causing everyone to jump.

"Vince senpai where have you been all day?" Honey asked looking up at me still on Mori's back.

"Why, I was have an adventure Honey making a new friend along the way." I answered smiling down at everyone.

"By the way why are you half naked? I don't want to see your man boobies Tamaki." I said pointing at Tamaki.

We all laughed when Tamaki cupped his man boobs in a lame attempt to hide them from view. Once we all settled down Haruhi spoke up.

"I'm sorry about this you guys, but could you please leave?" she asked.

Everyone gasped in shock.

"Haruhi? Are you still mad at me? YOU'RE NOT THINKING OF LEAVING THE HOST CLUB ARE YOU!?" Tamaki spazzed. Haruhi laughed at him.

"Don't be stupid senpai; I just have to finish my physical exam. As a male student of course. But let me explain I'm not doing this cause you're bribing me with food. I'm doing this cause I have to pay back my debt." Haruhi said smiling one of her cute smiles.

Tamaki blushed tackling haruhi in a tight hug. Snuggling her and saying something about tuna. Then he started to get a little too touchy feely…

"Cut it out senpai- NOO! Don't touch me there!" haruhi screamed.

"Red card! Looks like tamaki is the real pervert."the twins said in unison.

"Yeah Tamaki she is partly naked under that shirt." I added in sliding down Mori's back. Once on my feet I didn't notice Mori look down at me like he just remembered something.

"Who cares? Would you guys just get out of here!?" Haruhi asked/screamed. I laughed along with everyone else at Haruhi's misfortune. Smiling at the familiar tune of the host club ending song.

**.In the limo with mori and honey.**

"Hey takashi? Are you okay you look like you forgot something?" Honey asked looking at his giant younger cousin.

"Hmm? Yeah Mitsukuni, I'm fine." Mori answered looking out the window.

**LIGHTBULB**

**.The next day.**

"No, No, no, you're doing it all wrong Ponyboy! You're suppose to kick the ball in to the goal not over it!" I yell at Kasanoda form my spot in front of the soccer goal. He was standing at the center of the soccer field with his head bowed in shame.

"This is useless. You're just no good at sports Ponyboy." I sighed falling on my back on the soft (no doubt expensive)plushy lush green grass.

He didn't respond but I could hear his foot falls coming towards me. I looked over at him when he sat down by me.

He was wearing the wounded puppy dog look on his face.

"I'm sorry. I really am no good Vince senpai, maybe I really am pathetic." Kasanoda sighed a big rain cloud forming above him.

He looked really, really sad this time so I did the only thing I could think of... I slapped him in the face.

"OW!"

"Shut up Ponyboy you need stop being emo all the time." I told him throwing my forearm over my eyes to protect me from the sun.

I heard kasanoda sniffle a little from beside me muttering a small 'sorry Vince senpai.'

We sat like that for a while, me lying down on the grass arm over my eyes and him quietly crying.

"Hey Pony do you know what time it is?" I asked half asleep from the nice comfy expensive grass under me.

"It's 25 minutes after class." He said

"CRAP IM LATE!" I screamed rolling over on my belly crawling towards the building. "Kyoya is going to rip out my stomach and turn it in to a new black note book. A NOTE BOOK! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed/cried stopped crawling and full on booked it to the host club.

"V-Vince senpai?" Kasanoda called out weakly watching the senpai in question run like a mad man off the field and in to the school building.

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><p><strong>Well how bad did i do this time? REVIEW SO I CAN FIND OUT!<strong>

**UNTIL NEXT TIME!**


	8. Chapter 8

**I DO NOT OWN THE SHOW/MANGA HOST CLUB! That honor belongs to another awesome person.**

**ON WITH THE STORY!**

* * *

><p><strong><span>.Did you say his fiancé? Wait, WHAT DO YOU MEAN FEMALE MANAGER?!.<span>**

Reaching the host club doors I through open the doors sliding in on my knees and bowed my head.

"Kyoya I can explain! There was a fire caused by an angry fire breathing dragon, little Timmy was stuck in a well, and a circus elephant was going into labor and and…." I looked up well I didn't feel pain and or hear yelling.

The club room was empty of customers, everyone was dress in light layered spring kimonos with hair extensions, and one random light brown/dirty blonde haired girl was clinging to Kyoya like he was the last Louis Vuitton bag on sale (not that it mattered everyone in this room could probably buy one at regular price anyway except Haruhi).

**'Oh nooo… what is Renge doing here?' I thought miserly **

"Hey…..umm… who's the broad in the marshmallow dress?" I asked pointing at said marshmallow.

Once everyone was back in there normal clothes Renge went on to explain and claim how and why Kyoya 'THE SHADOW LORD' was her destined fiancé.

"It was love at first sight. I just couldn't resist when you were adoring those flowers in the back yard when you thought no one else was looking. And how sweet it was when you reached out to that poor injured kitten." Renge gushed.

"Is she serious?" Hikaru and Kaoru asked at the same time.

"Could you have the wrong person?" Haruhi asked politely.

"Yeah I could honestly say I've seen Kyoya kick a cat once, not help it!" I said throwing my arm around Kyoya's neck bringing his face down next to mine, "I mean do you know what people call him around here?" I asked her pointing at Kyoya's face.

"No way! I can recognize my love anywhere!" Renge snapped at us.

She then went into her crazy woman world shouting more nonsense about Kyoya…being…NICE?! I tried to ignore everything she was saying but it was a losing battle.

"NAGH! Kyoya make the crazy lady go away!" I begged from my spot on the couch next to him.

When the crazy woman sat down on the same couch as Kyoya and me I stuffed my fingers in my ears to block out her toxic voice.

**'I always did hate Renge's character the most when it came to the host club show…' **I thought numbly.

The last words I heard were… "Well boys I can't wait to work for you."

**'Will somebody shoot me… please?'**

**.The next day.**

Today at club we were discussing ways to kill off Renge and good places to hide the body…. Okay so maybe that was just me. But in all honesty I like my ideas way more than Tamaki's stupid one.

Here just listen to what he's saying.

"I thought about it a lot last night, and I think that having a lady manager might not be a bad idea."

**'See what I mean? Exhibit A.' **

"What do you mean?" the twins asked him.

"Well it's fairly obvious. Renge just transferred into the same class as Haruhi. So if Haruhi has a "girlfriend" then she can bring out the female within her. With Renge around she ca-"

"You do realize that everyone in the school thinks Haruhi is a dude right? That includes our self-proclaimed Manager. And if we put Renge around Haruhi when she thinks Haruhi is a he then there is always the possibility that Renge will start to like Haruhi too." I said cutting off Tamaki mid rant "as a boy, and it will be more than just friendly." I finished from my spot lying on the floor, Steve lying on my stomach. There were no more open seats on the couches.

"Oh don't be silly Vince senpai. Something like that can never happen!" He waved me off.

**'And Exhibit B… Tamaki's stupidity' **I thought with a sigh.

Just then Renge walked in offering everyone (minus Tamaki) some nasty burned cookies. No really, she said they were burned herself. Honest I'm not being mean this time!

"I'm sorry I burnt them a little bit. I did the best I could and I already know what you're gonna say!" Renge squealed.

_"Anything you make is going to be delicious, of course." Fake nice Kyoya said._

"AWW! You're always so sweet to me Kyoya." Renge gushed big pink hearts sprouting out of her.

"Did anyone else see that disturbing thought bubble of Kyoya being nice? Or was that just me?" I sweat dropped.

"She wasn't kidding these cookies really are burned." Honey said.

I sweat dropped even more seeing Honey trying to swallow down one of the horrid baked creations.

"Don't eat that Mitsukuni, it's bad for you!" Mori told his cousin slapping the cookie out of his small hand. Renge heard him and snapped, her hair tuning into snakes, chasing them a round.

I would have laughed at them, but she was making Honey cry.

NOBODY. MAKES. HONEY. CRY

It's like a law against nature! So I jumped into action to save the day.

"STEVE ATTACK THAT MAD WOMAN!" I shouted at Steve, and he did just that. Renge stopped chasing Honey and Mori and was now running away from my crazy loyal bowtie wearing parrot.

Yeah I put a bowtie on a bird. Sue me.

"Vince-chan…. THANK YOU!" Honey cried and ran at me arms wide jumping on me making us crash to the floor.

"H-Honey… can't breathe…. Crushing wind pipe… room spinning… light fading….Santa Clause playing strip poker with some thug dogs…." *Soul leaving Valerie's body*

**.Honey's pov.**

I pulled away from Vince-chan when he suddenly went limp.

"Hey…. Hey! VINCE-CHAN ARE YOU OKAY?!" I panicked shaking the unconscious boy. Honey stopped shaking him when his eye caught something.

**LIGHTBULD**

**.Valerie's pov.**

When I finally came to Tamaki was yelling at Hikaru and Kaoru about being shady and at the same time complaining to Kyoya. Renge was off to the side quietly studying us.

**'I wonder what type she'll end up giving me for her Host club movie.' **I thought vaguely as I got up off the floor.

"I really hope it's nothing lame." I muttered under my breath walking over and standing in between Hikaru and Kaoru. We jumped when Renge randomly started screaming.

"EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU (except for Kyoya) ALL OF YOUR CHARACTERS ARE LUKEWARM! Each of you needs to have a dark side, you understand? Girls are vulner-blah blah blah blah blah blah….."

"AHHHHHHH! WHY IS THE WHOLE ROOM RANDOMLY SPINING!?" I screamed and Scooby doo jumped into Hikaru's arms, and making him blush from my cool older guy closeness. (AN: No this is not a light bulb moment for Hikaru)

"…Blah blah blah are you trying to ruin my precious Kyoya's business?" Renge asked stopping her pointless rant. She then started changing everyone's, and my lack of one, character. She started off with Honey.

"From now on you are the baby faced thug!" Honey screamed.

"And you Mori senpai are his childhood-friend flunkie!" Mori stayed emotionless as usual.

"The twins will be basketball players enslaved in their own world!" when I looked at them, for some reason they were already dress up as basketball players.

**'How did they change so fast, without me noticing, when Hikaru is still carrying me? ...they're magical' **

"Haruhi you're an honor student who is constantly getting bullied!" Haruhi sweat dropped.

"Tamaki you're the popular guy everybody loves, but you actually have an inferiority complex you're hiding from the world. THE LONELY PRINCE!"

**'Queue the drama queen' **I mentally groaned as I saw Tamaki dramatically get in character.

"AND YOU!" Renge exclaimed sticking her finger in my face making me go cross eyed, "you'll be the super cool, super sexy bad boy greaser kid looking for that last dangerous race that may be his last." Renge said smugly, looking proud of herself.

**'I'm a suicidal Greaser kid?' **I thought warily.

"Oh and we'll have to cut your hair." Renge said casually like she was talking about the weather.

**"WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU #$%^&*(*&^%$# ! #$%^*&^%$#&**&! $%&%$%^^$^&#$! #!"**

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><p><strong>Well how bad did I do this time? REVIEW SO I CAN FIND OUT!<strong>

**UNTIL NEXT TIME!**


	9. Chapter 9

**I DO NOT OWN THE SHOW/MANGA HOST CLUB! That honor belongs to another awesome person.**

**ON WITH THE STORY!**

* * *

><p><strong>.Lights, Camera, Lost Contacts! …Huh?.<strong>

"Set ready for the race scene boss!" the stage director informed Renge.

"Excellent. Bring in Vince senpai!" Renge yelled into her pink megaphone.

Everything was in slow motion as the door to the dressing room trailer opened. Everyone gasped in both shock and awe. Then the fan girls started screaming….

**.4 hours earlier.**

"Everybody split up! Search every classroom, library, club room, restroom, and janitor closets! WE MUST FIND VINCE SENPAI!" Renge ordered. Every one in her hired movie crew all took off in different directions looking everywhere for the missing host member. Renge following not far behind.

Above them a ceiling panel slowly and quietly slid back into place unnoticed.

"HA! No one will think to look for me up here, I'm a genius." I smiled victoriously.

Reaching into my uniform pocket I pulled out a conveniently placed ornate Victorian silver hand mirror and looked into the reflection.

"Don't worry my precious. That crazy, Dating Sims video game obsessed, mad woman won't come anywhere near us." I said petting my long ponytail that was draped over my right shoulder.

Sticking the mirror back inside my pocket I began my journey of crawling in the ceiling. It felt like I was crawling for an hour when the ceiling gave out from under and I was fallingto my dramatic doom.

"HOLY COW TESTICALS I'M GONNA DIE!" my screams of terror when silenced when I hit the pool sinking into…..the colorful plastic balls..…what?

Swimming to the surface of the multi colored spheres I gasped for air and look around. The 3 football field sized room look like a full blown amusement park.

Roller coasters, food stands, cheesy side games, petting zoos, freak shows, and even the big classic red and white stripped circus tent sat off into the distance.

"Whoa…. Well I now where I'll be hiding for the next 2 hours!" I said in excitement and swam my way to the edge of the ball pit.

After a few thrill rides and raiding a few food stands I started to wonder why this amazing wonder land was hiding at Ouran in the first place.

"I mean this place would make millions, trillions even if it was built for public use." I stated out loud to no one in particular snacking on my rainbow swirled cotton candy.

I was currently debating on whether to ride the Merry -go-round vs. the Ferris wheel when a throat being cleared scared me ALMOST pantless. Spinning around, wielding my cotton candy like it was a club, I was greeted with the sight of an older man in a white suit.

He had a genuine playful smile playing across his lips, dark gold blonde hair slicked back, dark brown eyes and graceful smile lines on the sides of his mouth.

'**He kind of looks like an older version of-'**

"Hello I'm Chairmen Yuzuru Suoh." The chairmen said taking my non-cotton candy wielding hand in a firm but comfortable hand shake.

'**Well that explains why he reminded me of Tamaki, this guy is his dad.' **I smiled back with a slight nod of my head. I have to act lik at dude after all. Guys nod to other guys...right?

"I'm Vince Yoshi. I'm in the host club with Tamaki." I said shaking his hand. Slight shock passed across Mr. Suoh's face before it disappeared.

"Ah, so your one of my sons darling friends then. That's fantastic. I always encourage Tamaki to make new friends and make some memories with them." Mr. Suoh said with a smile on his face. I watched as his eyes got the 'faraway look' and his smile faltered a little.

But as fast as it came it was gone again.

"So I see you've found my personal amusement park. Tell me Vince-kun, how good are you at carnival games?" Mr. Suoh asked. A competitive sparkle in his eyes.

**.2 hours of competitive carnival games later.**

"YES! Take that Rusty!" I pumped my fists in the air as I beat Yuzuru at yet another carnival game. (AN: yes Yuzuru's nickname from Valerie is Rusty it was either that or yogi bear… both are horrible anyways so yeah…. Don't hate!)

"I'll have you expelled if you keep gloating like that Vinnie!" Yuzuru threatened.

"Well go on ahead it won't change the fact that you're a sore loser and I am the greatest ever! HA HA HA!" I laughed getting a glare thrown my way from the older man. "Well it's been fun kicking your butt Rusty but I gotta run. Come find me the next time you wanna lose again!" I yelled out to him running in the direction of the door…. At least I hope it was.

**.Mr. Suoh's pov.**

I watched as the boy ran towards the exit. He was different from all the other simple minded spoiled rich boy here that's for sure. He was one of a kind and real among the many fakes of the school.

"Tamaki sure has made himself an interesting friend to add into his little family."

**.Valerie's pov.**

"Gotta hide, gotta hide, gotta hiiiiide… oh this door looks like it leads to a good hiding place." I said opening the door and running into the dark room.

Finding the light switch I was in what looked like a forgotten library. The room was huge. Three stories high each being accessed by beautiful black iron spiral stair cases. On the ground level there was row after row of book shelves. Tables used for study and reading littered and weaved the aisles.

What caught my attention though was the huge wall to wall, floor to ceiling window that over looked one of the many court yards in Ouran. Reaching the window I looked out over the view. To my surprise I was 5 stories above Renge's movies set. I was still looking out the window when my hands were forced behind my back, a gag was shoved in my mouth, and everything went black.

When the hood over my head was taken off I found myself strapped to a hair stylist's spiny chair with Hikaru and Kaoru standing in front of me armed with hair cutting scissors and hair grease.

'**Merciful God in heaven…PLEASE MAKE THOSE SCISSORS DULL ASS HELL!' **I thought helplessly.

"H-Hikaru, K-Kaoru don't you dare come near me with those tools of hair murder!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

* * *

><p><strong>Well how bad did I do this time? REVIEW SO I CAN FIND OUT!<strong>

**UNTIL NEXT TIME!**


	10. Chapter 10

**I DO NOT OWN THE SHOW/MANGA HOST CLUB! That honor belongs to another awesome person.**

**Big thanks to everyone who review my baby fanfic! And as promised here is your reward THREE NEW CHAPIES WITH YOUR NAME ON IT!**

**ALSO ANY GREASE MOVIE REFENCES DON'T BELONG TO ME EITHER! **

**ANYWAY ON WITH THE STORY!**

* * *

><p><strong>.:Grease lightning!:.<strong>

"Set ready for the race scene boss!" the stage director informed Renge.

"Excellent. Bring in Vince senpai!" Renge yelled into her pink megaphone.

Everything was in slow motion as the door to the dressing room trailer opened. Everyone gasped in both shock and awe, and then the fan girls started screaming.

**'I'm going to kill those evil twin homo sexual bastards!' **I thought venomously staring blankly at all the love crazed fans.

Those two idiots cut off all my hair! It now looked like Pink's hair (from her video 'So what' when she's on her motor cycle) with a longish braided rat tail at the base of my neck (Like Jim Hawkins from the Disney movie treasure planet just not puffy). At least I was able to keep my piercing in.

I was dressed like the stereotypical 1950s Greaser kid. Black leather jacket, plain white short sleeved shirt tucked into my straight blue jeans, black belt holding up my pants, the bottoms rolled and cuffed up showing off my leather black lace up boots.

My newly cut hair was greased and styled to look like John Travolta's from the movie 'Grease' except I have a rat tail at the back and he didn't. And to complete my 'Greasy like a **Greaser' **lookI had a pack of smokes poking out of my shirt pocket and a single cancer stick tucked behind my ear. Even my crazy parrot friend Steve was decked out in a leather jacket and black sunglasses.

_"VINCE SENPAI LOOKS SO COOL!" _was one of the many screamed comments the fan girls were screaming.

"It would seem we finally found your host type Vince senpai. You are now the 'Cool Bad Boy' type." Kyoya informed me smugly.

"Asshole" I dead panned.

Renge ran up to me hearts shining in her eyes. "Vince senpai you look just the way I envisioned you!" I grabbed by the back of her neck, pulling her face just close enough to mine.

"You cut my long luscious hair…. Don't think I won't hawk a logy (sp?) in every one of your meals for the rest of you school life." I threatened, dropped my hand, and walked on set.

**.Renge's pov.**

I shakily let out a breath while watching Vince senpai stalk off.

"Vince senpai really is the 'Cool Bad Boy' type." I muttered nervously watching as the female split like the red sea just to let the cool Greaser through.

**.Valerie's pov.**

The racing set for my part of the movie looked like the exact replica of 'Thunder Road' from Grease. The guy I was racing looked every bit of a 'Prep'. The car my opponent was gonna be racing me in was a 1994 Ford Mustang in clean white.

My car on the other hand was a little sexier. My car was a 1969 Dodge Charger R/T dressed in a Smokey black cover.

I kinda felt like spontaneously breaking out into song right about now…. So I will! I walked over with my greaser swagger to the sexy Charger.

"_Why this car is automatic,_

_It's systematic,_

_It's hydromatic,_

_Why it's grease lightning (Grease lightning)_

**I sang while jumping onto the hood of my car,**

_We'll get some overhead lifters and some four barrel quads_

_Oh yeah_

_(Keep talking whoa keep talking)_

_A fuel injection cutoff and chrome plated rods oh yeah_

_(I'll get the money i'll kill to get the money)_

_With a four speed on the floor they'll be waiting at the door_

_You know that ain't no shit we'll be getting lots of tit_

_In Grease Lightning_

_Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go_

**By this some other guys dressed as greasers where singing along and doing the same moves from 'Grease',**

_Go grease lightning you're burning up the quarter mile_

_(Grease lightning go grease lightning)_

_Go grease lightning you're coasting through the heat lap trial_

_(grease lighting go grease lightning)_

_You are supreme the chicks'll scream for grease lightning_

_Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go_

_We'll get some purple french tail lights and thirty inch fins_

_Oh yeah_

_A Palomino dashboard and duel muffler twins_

_Oh yeah_

_With new pistons, plugs, and shocks I can get off my rocks_

_You know that I ain't bragging she's a real pussy wagon_

_Grease lightning_

**I was doing John Travolta's move, sweeping my arm in front of me then the other,**

_Go grease lightning you're burning up the quarter mile_

_(Grease lightning go grease lightning)_

_Go grease lighting you're coasting through the heat lane trial_

_You are supreme the chicks'll cream for grease lightning_

_Go grease lightning you're burning up the quarter mile_

_(Grease lightning go grease lightning)_

_Go grease lighting you're coasting through the heat lap trial_

_(Grease lightning go grease lightning_

_You are supreme the chicks'll cream for grease lightning_

_Lightning, lightning, lightning_

_Lightning, lightning, lightning_

_Lightning ye that's so right baby"_

When the song was over I was sitting in the driver's seat one hand on the wheel and the other hanging out the open window. All the other greasers were outside of the car, either standing by it or sitting on it, striking a pose.

"Alright you idiots get back to places we're about to start!" Renge yelled ruining the moment. "AND ACTION!"

(AN: _"narration"_ _**"talking" **_"responses/actions")

"_Shouts, yells, and whoops could be heard vibrating off the walls of Thunder Road. Two rival gangs, the Night Creepers and the Day Trotters, were gathered for the rumble. The leader of the Day Trotters, Duke Ortiz, spoke up first."_

"_**What are you waiting for night light losers!? Are we here to rumble or not? Or are y'all to scared to fight without your pretty boy leader?"**_ Duke taunted and laughed his crew laughing along with him.

"_**I'd watch what I say If I was you Duke. Don't wanna get a beat down in front of your crew do you?" **_a deep smooth voice said from behind the Day Trotters leader.

"_Duke knew he was in trouble the moment he decided to mock the Night Creepers leader so when he turned around and came face to face with Vince senpai, he nearly wet his hello kitty boxer briefs."_

"_**Hey who do you think you are?" **_thing 1 said

"_**Yeah you can't go around insulting our leader like that do you want him to cry!?"**_ thing 2 said

"_**Yeah what he said!" **_thing 3 said

"_**S-SHUT UP YOU MORONS! ARE YOU TRYING TO EMBARRASS ME?" **_Duke yelled at his three crew members that were trying to defend him.

"_**HEY,"**_ Valerie snapped _**"I showed up on your request so don't waste my time by being an idiot! Are we doing this thing or what?"**_

"_**Yeah we're doing this! Prepare for a world of pain Pretty boy!" **_

_Duke said and charged pulling back his arm ready to swing until Vince senpai held up his hand stopping Duke's attack. _

"_**Hey what gives? Too scared to fight me?"**_

"_**Nah I just had an idea. Ya see instead of us fighting and you going home bruised and busted, why don't we have a race? Loser leaves town and the winner get control of the others crew and territory." **_Valerie smirked._** "What do you say duke? No rules. First to the second bridge and back wins." **_

_"Duke agreed."_

"_Engines were roaring, tires were squealing, and people were cheering. Vince senpai knew the dangers of this race. One wrong turn of the wheel, or one wrong bang and he could be dead. But Vince senpai didn't care cause he lived for it__**. **_

"_**The danger is always the most fun." **_Valerie laughed throwing a smirk at her opponent.

"_At the count of three they were off one pulling in front of the other. Passing the first bridge Vince senpai took the lead. Duke was furious he couldn't let this old man _(Duke is 15and Valerie is 18)_ take his gang and territory away from him. No he wouldn't have it! Pushing harder on the gas he inched closer and closer to the black charger in the lead. Once on the chargers side Duke slammed his mustang into it. Vince senpai had no idea what hit him, He didn't think the kid had a chance at catching up to him. _

_Vince senpai held on to the steering wheel in hopes of getting it under control. Glancing up he gave up on controlhe had over the car. While he suffering hit after hit, Vince senpai didn't notice that his car was heading straight towards the huge cement beam of the second bridge. He threw his arms up on instinct in hopes of defending himself form the crash._

**CRASH! **The camera fades to black.

"CUT! That was perfect just the way I imagined it. Excellent job Vince senpai you should be an actor!" Renge squealed. "Alright clear the set it's time for Haruhi's part!"

* * *

><p><strong>Well how bad did I do this time? REVIEW SO I CAN FIND OUT!<strong>

**BTW The creation of the gang names don't belong to me. The names belong to Best Coast in the song "Our Deal" check it out it's a good song anyways :)**

**UNTIL NEXT TIME!**


	11. Chapter 11

**I DO NOT OWN THE SHOW/MANGA HOST CLUB! That honor belongs to another awesome person.**

**Any other refrenses I made also aren't mine!**

**ON WITH THE STORY!**

* * *

><p><strong>.:Which one are you again?:.<strong>

After my shoot I was sitting in between Kaoru and Hikaru, listening to music on the iPod I stole out of Hikaru's pocket. I was listening to a song called Breathe into Me by RED.

It's a good song, Loud and Rock'n rolly…. I like it.

I had the volume cranked all the way up so I couldn't hear anything that was being said around me, not like I didn't already know anyways.

In front of me Haruhi was doing her scene with Honey and Mori. She ran to the tree before turning to face my fellow seniors. She slid down the tree landing on her bottom, she was sitting there for maybe 4 seconds before Honey broke character and hug tackled her. Renge got up from her seat and was throwing what looked like a tantrum.

Haruhi eventually made her way over to our little group with a towel around her neck and shoulders. She was turned away from us so I could see read her lips at the moment plus I couldn't see Kyoya so I couldn't read what he was saying either. So since I couldn't read her lips I turned to the twins and read their lips instead. Hikaru was smacking the movie script in his hands complaining cause he wasn't pitcher. When Haruhi turned around and asked him what he meant he told her that she didn't need to know if she didn't already. The other two dudes nodded their heads in agreement.

Haruhi looked to her left like if someone was calling her, and she took off around the corner. I was still fiddling with the IPod listening to Lady Gaga's Marry the Night (Hikaru has a weird taste in music) when I saw Tamaki also take off around the corner. I waited a little bit before following. I pulled out the headphones as I got up and chucked the IPod on Hikaru's lap.

"Hey cutie face hold that for me." I said walking off, Kyoya at my side.

_**.Kaoru's pov.**_

"Hey cutie face hold that for me." Vince senpai said to Hikaru throwing something at him.

"Sure. Hey isn't this my iPod? How did you get it out of my pocket!?" my brother yelled at the retreating seniors back.

"Easy. I snuck up behind you real close like and slowly stuck my fingers in. By the way you were very warm!" the senior replied giving a wink just as he turned the corner, disappearing from view.

"Vince senpai sure is interesting isn't he?" I asked chuckling at the senior's sexual response. I looked to Hikaru when I didn't get a reply.

Hikaru was looking at the slim shinny orange colored iPod Nano with a blush across his cheeks and a confused look on his face. Now I was confused. My twin is the straightest guy I know, besides myself, He even has a crush on Haruhi! Even though he doesn't know it yet.

So why would Vince senpais comments make him blush... Unless…..

**LIGHTBULB**

_'Hikaru is a BISEXUAL!?'_

Lightbulb bruns out.

_**.Valerie's pov.**_

Around the corner Tamaki and Haruhi were having a personal moment. Tamaki was cupping Haruhi's face as she cried.

'**When in reality she's not crying at all. She sure is one tough cookie.' **I thought.

"Haruhi are you in any pain?" Tamaki asked.

"Yeah" Haruhi said rubing her eye, "it's my contact." She said showing him said seeing aid.

"Y-Your contact?" Tamaki asked confused.

"Yeah, I guess it must have slipped out." Haruhi said smiling. Tamaki let his hands drop from Haruhi's face and started laughing.

"Oh I see how it is; you're able to cry without using eye drops. That means you're a full-fledged host now!" Tamaki told her still laughing a little.

"You-you… PLEASE TELL ME YOU GOT THAT CAMERA MAN!" Renge yelled pointing at the dude with the camera.

_"Yes boss!"_ he answered giving a thumbs up.

"Other than Haruhi's contact falling out that was the ideal scene. All it needs now is a movie narration from my sweet Kyoya an-"

**SMASH!**

"Huh?" Renge spun around towards the sudden noise.

Beside me Kyoya's hand was full of rock, that he used to smash the lens of the camera with. The movie crew let out a group gasp.

_"No! What did you do to my camera!?"_ camera dude asked in horror.

"Isn't that obvious? He shoved a hand sized rock through the lens, duh!" I answered his dumb question… I got glared at in return. How RUDE!

"What? Is something wrong?"

I turned my attention away from camera boy back to Renge. She was looking at Kyoya like a wounded koala. Like she had no idea why Kyoya would do such a thing. Kyoya's answer was nothing short of cold and calculated.

"I'm sorry, but I cannot allow there to be any record of a club member engaging in violence. I think you've caused enough trouble around here Renge. Please stop being a pest."

**'Can anyone say harsh!? No really can you? I'm too scared of Kyoya to say it out loud, so I'll just think it. HARSH!' **

"A pest?" Renge asked just barley louder than a whisper with tears running down her face.

"But you're suppose to pat me on the head and tell me not to worry! You're suppose to be kind and affectionate!" a couple more tears streamed down her face. I glace at Kyoya and saw nothing.

**'Cold hearted codfish.'** I mentally muttered.

"Why are you acting so differently now? Tell me why!" Renge begged.

"Can't you see? That's just not who Kyoya is, he's a natural born cold hearted jerk." I said to her softly with a shrug.

Renge turned away from Kyoya and me to face Tamaki and Haruhi. She stood staring at them before falling to her knees. You could still hear her soft crying. Haruhi walked over to her squatting in front of her.

"Does it really matter? Who cares if Kyoya is a little different than what you expected him to be. Take a good look at the person inside and get to know them little by little it's a lot more fun that way." Haruhi told her giving her one of her kind friendly smiles.

I made my way over too, placing my hand on Renge's head softly.

"Haruhi's right you know and beside if you do take the time to get to know them I can guarantee that you'll meet some pretty awesome people along the way. And by the end of it you would have made some great true friends too." I said. When she looked up at me I smiled at her and gently pet her head.

**'I have a feeling all this niceness I'm showing is gonna come back and bite me in the butt… god I hope I'm wrong' **I thought nervously.

_**.Several days later.**_

It was just another semi-normal day at the host club. It's been a few day since the whole Renge incident and none of us have seen her since. And since I've been appointed the Host club's 'Bad Boy' type Kyoya had me alter my uniform style.

Now instead of the regulated black slacks I was wearing some black skinny jeans with a silver chin hanging too. My black shinny school shoes were confiscated by the 'Shadow Asshole' and now I had on solid black high top Nikes. By Ouran blazer was always to be left open at all times, my tie now hung loosely, and my white button down shirt had its collar popped with the top 2 buttons left undone.

My short dark brown almost black hair that I have recently been wearing in a Moe hawk (just like Pink from her video Funhouse) was hidden in my nit black skater beanie, my cute little rat tail still poked out though. One of my fan girls made it for me two days ago and I gotta say, I LOVE it!

But enough about my totally new guy makeover. It was time to let the guests in.

"Welcome ladies. Please come in." we greeted and the hosting begun. Everything was going just like any other day until…..

"_I bought the video of that film you made!"_

"_I bought one too!"_

"_And so did I!" _three of our clients gushed.

"You did?" Tamaki asked for everyone.

'**We were all confused, yes even I was confused. Don't look at me like that! I don't remember every detail that happens in this show!' **

"_That scene in the rain was phenomenal."_

"_I loved the lonely prince!"_

"_The relationship between Hikaru and Kaoru was so sweet!"_

"_And Vince-senpais bad boy persona was so sexy!"_

"_Yeah Vince senpai was so cool but I cried when he crashed."_ the three girls continued completely oblivious to our dark and shocked faces.

I was dumbstruck. I just couldn't believe what my beautiful ears were hearing. Well I could believe one thing Kyoya is a big fat faker!

When the other host questioned him I stayed quiet, I already knew why he saved the film.

'**Money greedy bastard' **I thought sourly

I perked up though when I remembered something. I turned around from my seat on the couch facing him.

"Hey Kyoya I meant to ask but when you smashed up the camera were you carrying that rock in your pants the whole time?" I asked. Kyoya opened his mouth to answer, probably tell me to shut up, but didn't get the chance to when a new voice spoke up.

"Good day everyone."

"Renge? But I thought you had gone back to France already." Tamaki asked her.

'**Oh no I'm getting that bad feeling again…'** I thought nervously while sinking further into the couch.

"I can't believe I didn't realize this sooner. It was so chivalrous the way you risked your life to save me. And I could feel the loved when you both lectured and comforted me." Renge said ignoring Tamaki's question.

'**Wait a minute did she say "both"? Oh crap…' **I mentally screeched willing the couch to come alive and eat me. In my pathetic attemptto hide I pulled my beanie over my face. **'Ha now she'll never find me! Umm right?'**

"When y'all were talking about meeting awesome new people and getting to know them little by little you both were talking about me!" I heard Renge's muffed voice through my beanie; when I was suddenly pulled off the couch. My beanie was lifted back from my face and I looked down into Renge's heart shaped pulsing eyes.

"Come on Haruhi, Vince senpai. Let's go to my house and play some video games!" she said grabbing my hand in a strong hold and Haruhi by her arm dragging us both out of the room.

"Nah It's okay Renge I don't even like video games, so why don't you just take Haruhi home with you, huh? Renge are you listening to me!? I DON'T WANNA GO HOME WITH YOU WOMAN!" I yelled at her as the club doors closed behind us.

'**Help me somebody I'm being kidnapped by a girl who's smaller then me!'**

_**.Monday afternoon, Club hours.**_

"**Let's all play the 'which one is Hikaru game!'" **two identical voices shouted from across the room. I was sitting at my table (that was by the window looking out at the peeing boy) entertaining my customers, when I heard this. I mentally groaned. One) because I just realized that this was episode 5 and Two) this episode was always the most annoying looking. So I think I'll skip this one out.

'**I wonder what I'll do to keep myself entertained while this episode goes on. Ah well I'll figure something out' **I thought with a shrug. When I was brought back to the world of reality I noticed that all my clients where gone. Looking around I saw everyone else's clients were gone too. They were all gathered in a corner looking at something. I wonder what? Porn maybe….. NAH! That's silly. Ha ha ha

Hearing a really unmanly scream I looked over the back of my chair to see Kaoru shining a light at Nekosawa's face, making him run off through the black magic club room door and my temporary room. Now this behavior won't do.

Walking over to where the twins were sitting down I stopped in front of Kaoru and slapped him. Not enough to leave a mark but hard enough to feel pain.

"OW! Vince senpai what's the big deal!?" Kaoru asked rubbing his stinging cheek.

"That stunt you pulled was lame Kaoru. I'd expect that kind of thing form Hikaru not you." I said pointing to his twin in the opposite chair.

"You guys are pathetic; messing with other people just because you get you get bored in your own little world" they didn't say anything; they were just staring at me, "Che, whatever I'm out of here."

And with that I walked towards the door picking up Nekosawa's puppet as I passed it.

'**I'll give this back to him when I see him later' **I thought and neatly shoved the cat puppet in my back pocket.

_**.the Ghost's pov.**_

The twins watched the door close behind the older boy, still in mild shock. One) because said older boy was able to tell them apart and two) because he was right. they were scared because Vince senpai had sneaked his way across enemy lines and their little world now had an intruder. And beacuse he was on the inside he could see their world losing its color, slowly turning black, white, and dull.

(AN: yes the ghost said **"He"** because he does not know that Vince is actually Valerie so there. Ps, the ghost stands for 3rd povand is actually a ghost named Willy)

_**.Three days later; Valerie's pov.**_

I was staring up at the ceiling of the hallway I was walking in when I heard strange noises coming from a door on my right.

Moving closer I was able to hear the noises better. The noises coming from the room were grunts and groans, heavy breathing, soft whimpering, and something that sounded like skin bumping skin. Grabbing the door handle I opened the door and…..

"Well hey, would you look at that I found the cafeteria! And I found those morons throwing stuff at each other too." I sighed. I went over to one of lunch lines grabbed a random tray of food and then walked out again.

_**.Later that day.**_

I had just got finished returning Nekosawa his puppet and was making my way to the host club. When I finally reached the club doors and opened them I had just walked in on Hikaru and Kaoru having one of their 'I love my brother' moments.

"So I guess you morons are done pretend fighting?" I asked shoving my hand in my pockets. All I got as a reply was two look-a-like grins.

"well that's good cause i was satring to miss you knuckleheads." I said smiling.

_**.the next day; hosting hours. **_

I was hanging out with Hikaru and Kaoru today, seeing as all my customers were with them playing the 'which one is Hikaru' game. I was leaning on the back of the couch were two girls were sitting, watching them try and guess which twin was which. The girl sitting in the chair answered.

"_I know! The twin with the pink hair is Hikaru."_ She said her cheeks painted by her blush.

"CORECET! We have a winner!" they exclaimed while the other girl's clapper and cheered.

"ERRRR! Sorry girls but your wrong. The twin with the pink hair isn't Hikaru at all." I told them causing them all to pout in confusion.

"_What do you mean?" _the girl who 'won' the game asked. Haruhi, who was walking by, answered the question.

"Today the twin with the pink hair is Kaoru and the one with the blue hair is Hikaru. They switched colors." When she was done talking she turned and walked away.

I smiled at the guys blank faces knowing they were in their own world again. So with one last smile at the customers I walked in the opposite direction Haruhi did and walk over to Honey and Mori's table. Stealing on of Honey's many strawberry cakes I plucked the strawberry off the top, hearing the host club ending song as I chewed.

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><p><strong>Well how bad did I do this time? REVIEW SO I CAN FIND OUT!<strong>

**UNTIL NEXT TIME!**


	12. Chapter 12

**I DO NOT OWN THE SHOW/MANGA HOST CLUB! That honor belongs to another awesome person.**

**Any other refrenses I made also aren't mine!**

**ON WITH THE STORY!**

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><p><strong>.:Who does this brat belong to?:.<strong>

"Thanks again for this Yumi, you have no idea how much it will come in handy." I said to one of the new friends I made here at Ouran. Yumi is in charge of the theater club here at school. Yumi is a small girl maybe around Haruhi's height with shoulder length strawberry blonde hair that she curls at the ends (kinda like Rika Sasaki from card captor sakura just longer)

"It was no problem at all senpai. Now just make sure you're careful when you're putting it on. It's really tight so I might rip if you're rough with it but once you have it on it should hold out nicely. Plus it's water proof." Yumi said and handing me a cute small sized yellow present bag.

"Okay Thanks Yumi! I'll make sure to come visit you soon." I said then closed the door behind me and casually made my way to the Host club.

I was just about to open the club door when...

"OMPHF!" I went crashing to the floor landing on my back and having the wind knocked out of me. In my oxygen deprived mind I noticed vaguely that there was a small body on me.

"S-Sorry… I didn't see you there" a little boy's voice muttered.

'**Ah so the small body has a voice huh' **I thought still too winded to say it out loud

"Nah its fine really, I liked crashing to the floor in pain. Who told you that I like it so much?" I asked sarcastically. When I opened my eyes I looked down at my stomach to see a little boy sitting there rubbing his eyes.

'**Crap who is he again? GAH I don't remember!' **

"Hey kid why are you crying?" I asked the little boy who was still sitting on my stomach rubbing tears from his eyes. His head snapped up and he glared at me.

"I'm not crying stupid! Boys don't cry only girls and babies do!" he yelled at me.

"Okay, okay I get it. Only girls and babies cry," I said holding up my hands in mock surrender, "Well hey listen, since you're sitting on me NOT crying would you mind getting off of me? Don't get me wrong I like lying on the floor as much as the next girl AND GUY! But uh… it gets a little hard and you ain't no feather. So do you mind?" I asked him motioning with my hands to get off.

When he shot up off me I sat up with the lightning speed of a turtle. I was rubbing the back of my head when I saw something yellow in my face. I looked up to see the boy holding my fallen present bag out to me. I took it then slowly got to my feet.

"So uh kid are you gonna tell my why you weren't crying? By the way what's your name?" I asked looking down at him.

"My names Shiro Takaoji and I already told you I WASN'T crying you stupid old man!" he yelled pointing at me.

'**Oh now I remember he's the evil little brat that's in love with Hina… WAIT, did he just call me stupid!? Why the little…'**

With an anime anger vain pulsing on my head I curled up my fist, raised it above Shiro's head, and violently let it drop giving the boy a good sized bump.

"OW! What the heck was that for!? I didn't do anything!" Shiro shouted holding his injured head.

"You were being rude, now shut up before I give you another bump." I threatened using my Bad Boy persona Voice on him. He instantly stopped shouting but was giving me a weak glare anyway.

"Now since I have nothing to do and I'm bored, I'm just going to follow you around all afternoon just to annoy you." I said giving him a lazy smirk.

"W-What? No way! You can't do tha-" Shiro started shouting so I hit him in the head again.

"Ah, ah, ah! What did I say about you shutting up? I gave you a fair warning didn't I?" I chided him waving my finger in a 'No-No' manner. He just sulked glaring harder at me.

"Now start walking. I'm following you remember?" I told him smugly. Shiro huffed then turned and started walking down the hall. True to my word I followed behind with one hand in my pocket and the other carrying my little cute yellow bag.

**'Yeah I bet I look SOOO tough right now' **

We eventually made our way to the elementary school. We were stopped once by a scary looking teacher in a nice black suit but I told him Shiro was my cousin and that I was his ride home. So we were able to pass on through smoothly.

We were currently in Shiro's music club. I was sitting on the window seat with Shiro sitting next to me looking out the window. The little girls of his club were asking me all kinds of questions and I gotta admit they were adorable.

"_What's your name?"_

"My name's Vince Yoshi, it's a pleasure to meet all of you cute girls." I answered with a goofy smile on my lips. Some of the girls blushed laughing cutely.

"_How do you know Shiro-Kun Vince senpai?"_

"Oh that's an easy one," I said throwing my arm around Shiro's neck and rubbing my cheek against his "I'm his cool older cousin of course!" Shiro didn't like this so he pushed my face away with his small hand.

"_I like your hair Vince senpai. What kind of style is that?"_

"Oh it's called a Moe hawk. It is kinda cool looking isn't it?" I asked her, she nodded. Others giggled when I moved my head side to side making my Moe hawk wave too. Soon all the girls left to go talk to their other friends or play instruments. When all the girls were gone one little girl came over to Shiro and me. Shiro didn't see her cause he was looking out the window again.

"E-excuse me, Takaoji? I'm sorry but have you been practicing the new piece teacher gave us?" the little girl with the pig tails asked.

"The new piece? Not really." Shiro admitted to her

"If you want I can show it to you. Do you wanna come play it with me?" she asked hopefully. I was quiet throughout their little interaction, not doing much just observing them really.

"No thanks you go ahead. After all there is only one grand piano, you should use it Kanashito." Shiro told her. Kanashito looked sad for a moment before she smiled at him.

"Thank you I will then, and if you want to join me just let me know." Then she walked away and started playing the piano.

"You know…. The reason she asked you to play the piano with her is because she likes you, right?" I said looking at Shiro out of the corner of my eye. He looked at me for a second before looking down at his lap. I turned away when I heard the clubs door open; a little girl had just walked out the door. I saw her again through the window and she was talking to a group of people. I groaned.

"Oh out gotta be kidding me." I thought or at least I thought I was thinking it. Cause right after I said that Shiro looked up towards the window across from us then took off out the door.

Through the window I could see him yelling at the hosts, Tamaki specifically. When Tamaki threw Shiro over his shoulder and started walking away, that's when I got out of my seat, grabbed my present, and was out the door. Hina was out in the hall looking scared and confused about the strange high schoolers kidnapping 'my cousin' Shiro.

"Don't worry Hina-chan. I'm positive my little cousin will be just fine." I smiled in reassurance. So with a princey bow and a friendly pat on the head I left Hina and eventually the elementary school.

**.2 weeks later.**

A lot of things went on when we met Shiro. Two weeks ago on Monday a boy by the name of Shiro Takaoji walked through the doors of the host club asking to become Tamaki's apprentice. On Tuesday he started his apprenticing, made some guests cry, insulted every host member, and caused Haruhi's debt to be added on to. On the same day he rejected Renge's and Tamaki's help and ran away. And that's where I meet him and found out why (along with the other hosts) he wanted to learn the ways of a host. The kid was is love, and the girl he loved was leaving soon.

When Tamaki found out he kidnapped Shiro from the elementary school and ordered Shiro to report to the Host club every day for piano lessons so he could learn to play a song with Hina. And for the days that followed; Shiro obeyed the host king and showed up for classes.

On Friday Shiro performed a beautiful piano piece with Hina-chan by his side, and then she left…..

But don't start crying now. The little young lovers communicate everyday via email! Isn't Shiro such a devoted love struck little boy?

Talking about Shiro he's here today at the host club. Right now my adorable 'little cousin' was across the room, sitting at Tamaki's table, and stealing all the Kings' lady friends.

"Ah you just gotta love the Naughty Boys, don't you ladies?"

'**Queue ending song!'**

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><p><strong>Well how bad did I do this time? REVIEW SO I CAN FIND OUT!<strong>

**UNTIL NEXT TIME!**


	13. Chapter 13

**I FOUND MY USB! THANK JESUS! I'm sorry i've been a little late with posting though... I blame classes and work! anyway please enjoyand please check out my poll and vote! :) i'll post another chapie if you do!**

**I DO NOT OWN THE SHOW/MANGA HOST CLUB! That honor belongs to another awesome person.**

**Any other refrenses I made also aren't mine!**

**BTW check out my profile and vote on my poll pretty please!**

**ON WITH THE STORY!**

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><p><strong>.:What's with all the water!?:.<strong>

_**The Ghost pov (general)**_

"_Is that Vince senpai!?"_

"_OMG it is! He looks like a god!"_

"_Look at his body it's a work of art!"_

"_He may not be as buff as Mori senpai but he's not scrawny either!"_ gushed the massive group of host crazy fan girls as they watched a shirtless Vince senpai playing in the water with his customers. Spotting some girls watching from the beach he called out to them.

"Wha'sup ladies, you guys wanna play with us!? The waters great!" he said wiggling his finger in a 'Come Hither' motion giving the girls a boyish smile.

_**The day before Valerie's pov**_

"The beach?"

"Yeah you know Haruhi. The water, sun, sun screen, half naked people, and don't the sand in your underwear. God I hate sandy undies." I explained sarcastically. It was Friday and the club was closed for our host meeting.

Kaoru and Hikaru were reminding Haruhi about her statement about wanting to go to the beach when they were at Kyoya's family water resort. Which I wasn't able to go to because of food poisoning. Tamaki made me cereal…enough said.

'**I mean seriously! Who fucks up cereal!?'**

Anyway, the whole club room was full of manikins modeling all kinds of swim wear. One piece, bikinis, boy shorts, board shorts, suffers suits, and at one point I saw one made of nothing but string. As I walked through the complicated maze of manikins I couldn't help but be a little sad.

If anything I was slightly jealous of the human like dolls dressed in cute outfits for the water.

'**If it wasn't or my lack of a chest and people thinking I was a dude I could be wearing one of those cute bathing suits…' **I thought slumping a little.

After my little pity party I looked up and when I did I saw Mori standing in front of me. It looked like he was staring at something intensely. I walked closer and peeked around his massive form… I sweat dropped.

The thing Mori was staring intently at was a simple bikini. It kind of looked like something the little mermaid would wear… you know if she an exotic dancer and 'The little mermaid' was her stage name.

"Moving oooon….." I muttered slowly inching away.

The twins were trying to explain to Honey about the type of bathing suit would best suit Haurhi's body better. All I really heard was something about ruffles and a cutting board. Then Tamaki showed up out of nowhere swinging a bat and yelling sexual harassment. Where he got that bat well your guess is as good as mine…...

So now the host club is going to the beach.

_**The next day**_

I was just finishing packing some guy clothes for the beach when I spotted the gift bag my friend Yumi gave me. I picked it up with an evil grin on my face.

"Ha-ha wait till everyone sees me in this! Everyone who's thought I'm a girl will be so surprised!" I said to Steve as I ran to the bathroom to change. The minute I closed the door I threw off my shirt and bra and slipped into Yumi's secret gift.

When I looked up into the mirror I couldn't help but smirked.

"Man, I am one sexy bitch!" I said striking a very Arnold Schwarzenegger pose.

I bet you're a little confused right now so let me explain. You see the super-secret gift Yumi gave me is called a false body. You know like that thing Martin Lawrence wears in big momma's house. Except mine was a semi athletic boy's built instead of a huge black woman. Think of it as a latex glove…..just for the upper body, tight, skin colored, and in halter top form.

"Oh yeah with this thing on no one will know my real gender. Just like a transvestite!...Wait did I just compare myself to a tranny?" I asked my reflection, it nodded back at me.

"Hey Vince senpai hurry up its beach time!"

"COMING!" I yell while putting on my black wife beater and plaid shirt.

"Come on Steve its beach time."

Steve sqwacked in excitment.

_**At the beach**_

"_Is that Vince senpai!?"_

"_OMG it is! He looks like a god!"_

"_Look at his body it's a work of art!"_

"_He may not be as buff as Mori senpai but he's not scrawny either_!" gushed the some of my crazy fan girls as they watched me remove my plaid shirt and wife beater. When I finally got it unbuttoned Honey Mori and Haruhi were all looking at me with a weird look on their faces…..hmm?

***LIGHTBULBS GO OUT***

"UGH! I can't believe he's making us work!" I whined from my spot on the beach blanket next to Haruhi. I just go out of the water and was attempting to dry off in the shade.

"Yeah this sucks. I thought a day at the beach meant a day off." Haruhi added.

Haruhi eventually ended up leaving me after some of her clients showed up; something about going to go for a walk I don't know.

Steve magically showed up in that way he does and landed on the beach blanket right next to my head. I turned my head to look at him.

"Hi'ya Steve I like your board shorts." I told him. Steve had on some tiny red swim trunks with little fishies on them. Steve gave a squawk in thanks.

"Well Steve old buddy, old pal I'm thirsty. So I'm gonna go see if I can find something to quench my unyielding thirst." I said getting up off the sand. When I found the object of my desire I set off.

Kyoya was sitting at a conveniently placed umbrella table and what did he have in his hand? A nice tall cold glass of water that's what. So using my super sneaky ninja movies I crept over towards him, and just as he brought the glass up to his lips I snatched it and chugged it down in two gulps.

"Mmm that really hit the spot!" I said, tilting the glass to get the last drops. When I set the glass on the table and looked back at Kyoya he had the evil light reflect of doom on his glasses. In a one swift move he was out of his chair, I flinched thinking he was gonna hit me….and he did, really hard by the way, in the face with his ever present clipboard. then he walked away.

**'What a jerk!' **I thought while I rubbed my sore nose.

_**A couple hours later before sunset**_

It was a few hours later when I found myself up on a cliff with a Bo staff (using it as a substitute bat) hitting rocks into the ocean. I had taken the staff away from Tamaki when he was chasing Steve with it. Steve pooped on his head hence the reason for revengeful chasing and Bo staff swinging.

Then all the guys decided to enter in that stupid 'Find out Haruhi's weakness' game. When I gave them my answer of thunderstorms they all looked at me like I had a second head that was wearing bunny ears and a mustache.

'**Whatever they'll find out later that I was right.' **

So since all the guys were busy playing I was left with customer babysitting duty. I only just got away 5 minutes ago when I suggested we play Hide-and-Seek. And that's how I ended up on the cliff playing baseball with rocks and a Bo staff.

"Home run!" I half yelled as I hit a particularly big rock further than the one before into the sea.

"_Hey look Vince senpai is up here too!" _a girly voice said behind me.

I looked over my shoulder and recognized the three girls that were talking to Haruhi from earlier.

"Hello ladies. Come to enjoy the view?" I asked them doing a sweeping motion indicating the ocean and setting sun.

"_Yeah we thought it would be a good idea to view it from up here."_ The girl in the orange bathing suit answered.

"Hey look there's Haruhi. HEY HARUHI UP HERE!" I yell trying to get said girl in disguises' attention.

"_What's up Haruhi!?"_

"_The breeze up here is great!"_

"_This feels so good."_ The girls called down to her.

"It's dangerous, be careful!" Haruhi warned us.

"Stop being such a fun sucker Haruhi!" I yell back at her. She glared at me in return.

'**This all seems vaguely familiar to me…UGH why can't I remember this episode? And why am I getting that bad feeling again? I hate getting bad feelings they're so bad!'**

"_Hey man check it out they're chicks up here!"_ a dudes voice called out.

'**Now I remember….'**

"_Are we lucky or what? You ladies wanna hang out with a couple of locals?"_ his friend asked.

We all turned around just in time to see two guys around my age climb up the cliff, one of them throwing away a noticeable beer can. I guess they haven't seen me yet… this can work to my advantage.

Just as ponytail dude made to grab the girl in the white two piece I smacked his hand away and moved in front of girls, pointing the Bo staff in his face threatingly.

"Can't you morons see that these chicks are with me? So why don't you douchebags leave before I shove this Bo staff up your asses." I growled out. I was completly in my 'Bad Boy' alter ego mode, with my deep voice and everything.

The two guys stumbled back visibly shaken. They were quiet for a moment before ponytail got his nerve back.

"_H-Hey just who do you think you are? You can't threaten us like that and get away with it!"_ he yelled growing some confidence.

"Hey stupid didn't I already tell you to leave? why are you still here?" I drawled out. Ponytail sputtered, his face turning red.

"Y_ou little shit!" _he yelled before charging straight at me. I waited until he was a little closer before digging the end of the staff into the dirt and bringing my leg up kicking him straight in the chest sending him back.

Just when he was up on his feet ready for another charge a hail storm of shellfish came raining down on his back. I looked over his shoulder to see Haruhi with an empty bucket in her hands.

"Why don't you just quit bothering them? Weren't you jerks listening? You better just leave them alone!" Haruhi bravely said.

"_Haruhi!"_ one of the girls cried in relief.

"_Why you little runt!_" ponytail growled in anger and went after Haruhi instead.

"HARUHI RUN!" I yelled which ended up distracting me and cost me a good solid punch in the mouth by hoodie boy. I could feel blood dripping form my now split lip onto my chin.

'**Okay now I'm really pissed. *No one makes me bleed my own blood, no one!'**

"You girls get out of here and go find Tamaki." I said to the girls still cowering behind me. Holding the Bo staff in both hands I dug the end of it into the ground and kicked hoodie in the face balancing myself on the staff. Once on the floor I did a circus act with the staff then slammed it down on to hoodies stomach for extra measure.

"HARUHI!"

Everything was in slow motion. I looked away from the fallen teen and looked towards where I knew Haruhi would be….right at the edge of the cliff. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Tamaki just standing there watching the scene unfold, so I acted. I threw the Bo staff to the ground and ran full speed towards ponytail dude and Haruhi; I got there just as he let her go. I jumped pushing Haruhi safely towards the ground…..and I was headed straight over the cliffs edge into the water below.

**SPLASH!**

When I hit the water I kind of just floated there in the quiet of the ocean for a second before my lungs screamed for air. Breaking the surface I greedily sucked in air and rubbed the salted water from my eyes.

"So I might have changed the way this episode was supposed to play out just a little bit, but on the bright side Haruhi's okay. On the other hand I'm wet and this waterproof false body is starting to chafe." I muttered as I kept myself floating above water.

"Hey Vince senpai!"

"Vince senpai!"

"Vince!"

"Hey Vince senpai come back to the beach!"

I turned my head towards the shouting voices and found all the hosts standing on the beach waving their arms around trying to get my attention.

'**They all looked so tiny. I guess the ocean pulled me out further than I thought.'**

"I'M COMING!" I yelled back loud enough for them to hear me, then started the long swim to shore.

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><p><strong>Well how bad did I do this time? REVIEW SO I CAN FIND OUT!<strong>

**BTW can anyone guess what movie I got that quote from?**

**PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE VOTE! **

**UNTIL NEXT TIME!**


	14. Chapter 14

**I DO NOT OWN THE SHOW/MANGA HOST CLUB! That honor belongs to another awesome person.**

**Any other refrenses I may have made also aren't mine!**

**ON WITH THE STORY!**

* * *

><p><strong>.:What's with all the water!? part 2:.<strong>

By the time I got the shore I slumped on my hands and knees exhausted. I was so tired that I eventually rolled onto my back and looking into the faces of my host friends above me.

"Vince senpai!" they all cheered in perfect synchronization….it kind of makes me wonder if they rehearse moments like these. They all had a relieved look on their faces….well except Kyoya the bastard never has any emotion.

"Vince senpai are you okay?" it was Haruhi that asked me this. She had dropped down to her knees so she could look me over better.

"I'm not too sure Haruhi cause the whole time I was in the air the song 'I believe I can fly' was playing in my head…. I think I'm slightly insane." I confessed breaking the serious atmosphere and making everyone smile.

"But seriously I'm good! It takes more than a punch to the face and cliff jumping to hurt me. I'm like the terminator!" I joked ruffling her hair. She gave me bright grin in return.

"If you say so senpai, Thanks for saving me." She said. I just nodded.

"So where'd those morons go?" I asked.

"We took their ID cards and respectfully asked them to leave. The girls all went back to the hotel and I've called a doctor. He should be arriving here any minute now." Kyoya informed. I groaned.

"Are you serious? Haruhi and I are fine! The only thing wrong with me right now is the sand that has stealthily made its way into my swim trunks. Did I mention I hate sand in my unmentionables?" I asked him. He glared at me before stepping on my stomach and none to gently, "Oomph!"

"What were you thinking? You know you're not like Honey senpai, you're not a martial arts master," Tamaki said grabbing Haruhi by the arm and standing her up, "why did you confront them? What made you think YOU would stand a chance? You against two boys?" Tamaki said shaking Haruhi by the shoulders slightly.

"Uh Hello, I was there too you know? Thanks for your concer- Ow!" I was ignored and Kyoya stepped harder on my stomach.

"But it doesn't matter that they're boys and I'm a girl. I was there and I had to do something," Haruhi said back confidently, "There wasn't any time to think I-"

"That's no excuse you idiot! Don't forget you're a girl!" Tamaki shouted cutting Haruhi off.

"Look I'm sorry you had to come and save me senpai-"

"Actually it was me that did the saving just FYI. Ow!" I corrected her.

'**I'm starting to understand how a coca roach feels under a chancla…'**

"I DON'T THINK I DID ANYTHING WRONG!" Haruhi yelled.

'**Whoa what did I miss? What's with all the yelling?'**

You don't think so…fine whatever you say, but I'm not talking to you until you can admit that you were wrong!" Tamaki said ending the argument and walking away. Everyone was quiet for a while watching our kings retreating form.

"Hey Kyoya can you move your big cave man foot? I wanna get up now and I think there's something alive crawling in my shorts….."

_**The Otori family villa; Night time**_

_***tick, tick, tick, tick***_

"Hey guys…"

_***tick, tick, tick, tick,***_

"You know that awkward moment when two friends are fighting and they end up sitting next to each other at the dinner table?"

_***tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick***_

"I think that's what we're experiencing right now." I said trying to break the awkward quiet.

After Tamaki disappeared into the mansion we all headed inside to change. Once I successfully got out of the false body I jumped in the shower. After putting on my bra and underwear I threw on some baggy gray sweatpants and a black pull over hoodie. I went into the restroom and messily redid my Mohawk and re-braided my rat tail. When I was done with that I put on my flip flops and left for dinner.

And now we are unfortunately apart of the most awkward dinner ever.

"Well this is uncomfortable." Hikaru whispered in my left ear.

"Yeah and a little awkward." And Kaoru whispered in my right.

"Guys even if you whisper I'm pretty sure everyone can still hear you." I mumbled.

It was so awkwardly uncomfortable that even Honey was sweating. Finally little Honey had enough and bravely broke the silence.

"Let's dig in Haru-chan. These are the crabs we caught I bet they're delicious." Honey said with forced cheerfulness.

_**SNAP!**_

_**SNAP!**_

_**SNAP!**_

_**SNAP!**_

_**SNAP!**_

Haruhi devoured Crab leg after crab leg. She was like a machine!

'**Alright I'll admit it! I'm slightly jealous of Haruhi's eating abilities right now.' **I thought while eating my own crabby meal. I wanna say that Haruhi ate a good 23 crab legs before Tamaki finally grew a pair and spoke up.

"Don't you think you've had enough? Give it a rest!" he said staring at the growing mountain of eaten legs.

"Excuse me? I thought you weren't speaking to me anymore." Haruhi smartly replied snapping another crab leg and hitting him in the face.

"You…trying to be cute?" Tamaki asked when all he got was a side glace glare he flinched then eminently stood up.

"Fine I get it! It seems you refuse to admit that you were wrong. See if I care then, Kyoya will you show me to my room?" Tamaki asked while walking away. The shadow moron whipped his mouth before answering.

"No problem. Well, excuse me everyone."

One they were both gone Haruhi stopped her mindless eating. She had a look of consideration on her face…..actually she looks constipated now that I think about it.

"Maybe he's right; maybe I do need to learn how to defend myself." Haruhi mumbled.

'**Oh great here come the 'totally said but not said' of everyone's crush for Haruhi**….**I think I'm gonna make a run a for it.' **

"Hey guys I'm pretty tired too y'know jumping off a cliff and all so good night." I said getting out of my chair and walking out the huge dining room doors.

_**Few minutes later…**_

"WHERE THE FUCK AM I!?HELP SOMEONE I'M LOST!" I yelled.

When no one showed up to save me I sank down sitting Indian style in the middle of the hallway.

'**Okay let me think. I've been gone for about 20 minutes Haruhi would have gotten sick, run into Kyoya's room, almost get raped by four eyes, and queue Tamaki showing up. That sounds about right…..sooo…..all we're missing is the thunderstorm.'**

***BOOM!**

'**Never mind, the storms here.'**

*BOOOM. CRASH!

"Alright already I get it! It's raining sheesh…" I shouted at the ceiling.

"What on earth are you doing moron senpai?" a voice said making me jump. I whipped my head around, cracking my neck by the way, and found Kyoya standing behind me.

'**Dude's a ninja I swear…'**

"Well? Are you gonna tell me or are you just gonna sit in the middle of the hall all night?" he snapped looking mighty impatient standing there with his hands in his pockets.

'**He must still be hurt by his confession of his feelings for Haruhi getting rejected…let us ask him, hmm?' **

"Hey Kyoya, how did Haruhi's attempt rape go? Did it turned out as planned, or did that clever girl say something to change your mind?" I asked him. I was still sitting on the floor Indian style so I'm a pretty easy target if he decides to strangle me….which he probably will…. Crap.

And true to my assumptions Kyoya grabbed the front of my Hoodie, yanking me up to my feet, and slammed me into the wall.

"ABUSE!" I yelled at him. I was ignored.

"How did you know about that? You weren't even there. You were nowhere **near **my room." he growled and slammed me against the wall again.

"I repeat A.B.U.S.E," I said looking him right in the eye, "and to answer your question, I have me sources."

He didn't say anything just stood there glaring at me and gripping my hoodie in his fist. I was still against the wall standing on my tippy toes when I had an idea. I took a deep breath and…..*SMOOCH

'**Yup you guessed it I kissed him right on the lips…. Okay so maybe you didn't guess it. But technically it isn't considered homo because I'm a girl so it's all good…. In my defense I blame the movie "Get Smart" for my bright idea, Damn you Steve Carell!****"**

Kyoya was in complete shock. So shocked in fact that his death grip on my hoodie slacked and I was able to slip away, and as soon as I was off my tippy toes and on my feet I booked it down the hall. I mean I wasn't gonna stick around to get punched in the face or anything….I don't like pain inflicted upon my face thank you very much!

_**The next day; Limo**_

"So then we went to go check on Haruhi and there was Tamaki he had tied up Haruhi for his own weird fantasy!" Hikaru gossiped to me laughing his head off when he was done.

"Ewwwwie… that's nasty." I said sticking out my tongue in disgust. Kaoru nodded his head in agreement, Steve sitting on his shoulder.

"Where is that pervert anyways?" I asked looking around for Tamaki.

"I don't know, he was running behind the Limo a while ago. I guess we finally lost him." Hikaru answered.

"Oh well running will do him some good anyways." I said leaning back in the comfy leather seats of the limo ready to get back to the school.

'**Queue ending song…'**

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><p><strong>Well how bad did I do this time? REVIEW SO I CAN FIND OUT!<strong>

**UNTIL NEXT TIME!**


	15. Chapter 15

**I DO NOT OWN THE SHOW/MANGA HOST CLUB! That honor belongs to another awesome person.**

**Any other refrenses I may have made also aren't mine!**

**ON WITH THE STORY!**

* * *

><p><strong>.:Attack of the Zuka Club She-man!:.<strong>

Today all classes were cancelled for the cultural club exposition. That means two things to me. One, I can freely walk around the school during school hours without being questioned by nosey teachers. Two, I can go visit all my fellow host buddies while they're in class!

The first people I went to see were Mori and Honey. Long story short, I showed up with a huge triple decker strawberry ice cream cake and as soon as Honey saw me I was tackle to the floor. After I scooped myself of the floor I had to sneak into the nurse's office and steal a clean uniform. On the plus side I smell like fresh strawberries.

I walked over to Tamaki and Kyoya's class next. When I opened the door Tamaki was in the back of the room surrounded by his female classmates. The other male students were gathered at the other side of the room sending glares the blonde's way. And Kyoya….well he was writing in his stupid diary again.

Tamaki made the foolish mistake of looking my way and as soon as the girls noticed this they all turned my way too. Another long story short Tamaki is mad at me because l stole away all his ladies friends...again.

Now I was hanging out with the youngest members of the club Hikaru, Kaoru, and Haruhi. I was sitting next to Kaoru on his desk watching them harass Renge since Haruhi was busy talking to some girls at the front of the class.

"WHAT!? You've never tried it?" they asked at the same time.

"Didn't anyone tell you it's the preferred drink of the host club?" Hikaru asked

"And you are our manger so you should drink it too." Kaoru added.

"W-Well I t-think I've heard of instant coffee before. OH that's right, isn't that when the coffee beans had already been ground for you?" Renge asked hopefully.

"ERRRRRRRR!" we all buzzed making X's across our chests. Renge jumped from the sudden noise.

"That's just ground coffee, instant is something completely different. I don't even think there is any coffee in instant coffee. You just mix this powder with hot water and drink it. You don't have to brew it- it's pretty awesome." Hikaru explained.

"So it's basically the same as coffee only not as robust, yet it's strangely satisfying." Kaoru said from beside me. I draped my arm around his shoulder nodding in agreement.

"Now that you mention it we just ran out didn't we?" Hikaru asked us.

"Yeah we did. I know for a fact because I drank the last of it." I answered. The twins shared a look, nodded, then made their way over to Haruhi.

'**They're probably gonna beg her to go buy them more coffee cause they are too lazy to go themselves…who am I kidding they're not gonna beg!'**

And I was right not long after they started talking to her were they carrying her to the door to make an instant coffee run.

Poor Haruhi.

_**Haruhi's pov**_

"Damn them, I really hate rich people." I grumbled leaning against the door frame for support suddenly very exhausted.

"_Thanks for helping them out Haruhi."_ Kisa said, she had short black hair.

"No problem I just wish they'd buy their own instant coffee." I whined slumping slightly.

"_Well I don't know if that will ever happen but I'm glad they seem to be having a good time."_ Sakura said laughing a little making her long Honey collored hair bounce.

"_And it's all thanks to you."_ Kisa added.

"Huh? What do you mean 'all thanks to me'?" I asked. I had no clue what these girls were talking about.

"_We've been in the same class as the twins since middle school. They didn't use to be this cheerful and friendly." _Sakura said.

"_They were always quiet and withdrawn. They didn't have any friends." _Kisa said sadly.

"_It's like they didn't want anyone to get too close. I don't think they like school very much they seem bored by it." _Sakura added.

"_I guess things started to change when the host club was created. Since then they've come out of their shells little by little." _Kisa said a small smile hanging on her lips.

"Really?" I asked. I truned and looked back into the class. The twins and Vince senpai were talking to two other boys from my class. They were all listening to Vince senpai (who was getting a piggy back ride from Hikaru) tell some kind of joke, laughing like crazy when he said the punch line. They started laughing again when the senior licked his figure and stuck it in Hikaru's ear making him spaz out.

_**Valerie's pov**_

"Hey guys did Haruhi leave already?" I asked Hikaru and Kaoru just now realizing the missing girl in disguise.

"Man senpai you're slow." Hikaru said forgetting he was still carrying me and in close range, I gave him another Wet Willie for calling me slow.

"Yeah Haruhi's been gone for 20 minutes now." Kaoru said checking the time on his phone, I gasped.

"Darn it I wanted to tell her to bring me back some Twinkies!" I jumped off Hikaru running for the door.

I was running towards the schools main gate when I could faintly see Haruhi sitting on the floor and someone else standing over her. Thinking it was a potential rapist I ran faster.

"HARUHI!" I yelled once I was 5 feet from her. I pushed the rapist out of the way then dropped down to my friend's side.

"Haruhi are you okay? The rapist didn't get you did they?" I asked poking her side in an attempt to check her; I just ended up making her laugh instead. So I took that as a good sign cause rape victims don't laugh...I think.

"_Who are you calling a rapist you discussing man!?" _shouted a semi-manly voice behind me. Looking over my shoulder I was met with the sight of an extremely tall, thin, guy looking girl dressed in a white and maroon girl's uniform. She looked angry too now that I'm paying attention to her.

I stood up, invading her personl space with my face, looked her dead in the eye and said...

"I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I!?"

She was stunned. Just like I planned I quickly grabbed Haruhi off the floor and booked it to the direction of the music room. Unfortunately rapist manly-girl didn't stay stunned long enough.

_"You fended, get back here and return the fair maiden to me!"_ rapist manly-girl shouted.

"NO!" I screamed and ran faster pulling Haruhi along like a rag doll.

**2 minutes later; club room**

"HOST CLUB ASSEMBLE!" I screamed kicking the door open huffing and puffing trying to get air back in to my lungs.

"Umm Vince sempai what's going on?" Tamaki asked breaking 'Guest Welcoming Formation.'

"I'll tell you wants going on. This creep rapist manly-girl was planning on making Haruhi her love slave!" they all gasped, "but don't worry because I caused a distraction and got Haruhi safely away." I said striking the Peter Pan pose.

***cricket, cricket**

"Umm Vince senpai?"

"Yes Kaoru, what is it?" I asked still Peter Panning.

"Where's Haruhi?"

"What do you mean she's standing right he-**CRAP!**" I screamed.

After some intense emotional eating (I devoured a triple decker chocolate fudge fudge chocolate cake) Benibara AKA **'Rapist Manly-Girl'** showed up with her lackeys and Haruhi. They started talking about the Zuka club, sexually harassed Haruhi, punched Tamaki in the face, insulted the host club, did this weird dance/song introduction that reminded me a lot about Team Rocket, and talked about the Zuka club some more. I think I lost some brain cells by the end of it.

While I was NOT payin attention I spotted Haruhi off to the side making some coffee for the strange Zuka girls. I stared at her for a moment before smiling a sinister smile. I walked over to Haruhi tapped her on the right shoulder, ducked behind her left, and hawked a lugie into each coffee cup.

**DOT, DOT, DOT...**

Okay so the Valerie flavored coffee was a bust seeing as Tamaki had to go and stick his finger in it, literately. He got a really nasty burn, but fear not Haruhi was there to save the day!

"Thanks Haruhi, do you always carry around bandages with you?" Tamaki asked looking at his bandaged finger.

"Nah the super market was giving them out with the purchase of instant coffee. You always get free stuff at the supermarket." Haruhi smiled.

"Free stuff?" Tamaki asked slightly surprised.

"_This little conversation doesn't seem to be going anywhere."_ Benibara butted into their moment before pulling Haruhi off the floor and holding her flush against her chest.

_"Now that we know what's going on we can't allow this maiden to stay here. We will have her transferred over to lobelia at once! And we will welcome her into the Zuka Club."_ Benibara declared.

"DUNN, DUNNN, DUNNNN!"

"SHUT UP STEVE!" I yelled at the crazy bowtie wearing parrot.

* * *

><p><strong>Well how bad did I do this time? REVIEW SO I CAN FIND OUT!<strong>

**UNTIL NEXT TIME!**


	16. Chapter 16

**I DO NOT OWN THE SHOW/MANGA HOST CLUB! That honor belongs to another awesome person.**

**Any other refrenses I may have made also aren't mine!**

**ON WITH THE STORY!**

* * *

><p><strong>.:Attack of the Zuka Club She-man! part 2:.<strong>

"CREEPY RAPIST MANLY-GIRL, also known as Benibara, SAY WHA!?" I shouted….but I was ignored. (T-T)

"Hey just wait a second will yah? There seems to be some misunderstandings here. I mean first of all you called senpai a halfer!" Haruhi said.

"Cause he is a halfer. He's half French and half Japanese!" Honey informed her.

"Well uh anyway I don't think it's fair to pick on the Host club just because you don't think they have the same history as you." Haruhi tried again.

"We hardly have any history the club was just founded 2 years ago." Hiakru said.

"Yeah the boss started it whenever he started school here." Kaoru added.

"Be that as it may, say that they hold club activities to satisfy their appetite is just wrong. I mean it's not like they're charging guest or anything." Haruhi said trying one more time to defend the host club.

"While I wouldn't call it charge; we do have a point system. We offer priority services based on the winnings of the auction our website-" I stopped listening to Kyoya when I remembered that Haruhi was about to start yelling at him for selling her pencil.

"Psst Hikaru, Give me your iPod!" I whispered to the twin.

"Why?" he asked with his brow raised, giving me that **'Why should I?'** look.

"Just give it to me or I'll go in your pants and get it myself." I deadpanned. Hikaru quickly pulled out the iPod from his pocket and gave it to me. I stuffed the ear buds in and pressed play to whatever song he had on just as Haruhi started screaming.

"_You and I go hard, _

_At each other like we going to war_

_You and I go rough, _

_We keep throwing things and slammin' the door_

_You and I get so, _

_Damn dysfunctional we stopped keeping score_

_You and I get sick, _

_Yah I know that we can't do this no more_

_But baby there you again, _

_There you again making me love you_

_Yeah I stopped using my head, _

_Using my head let it all go_

_Got you stuck on my body, _

_On my body like a tattoo_

_And now I'm feeling stupid,_

_Feeling stupid crawling back to you_

_So I cross my heart, and I hope to die, _

_That I'll only stay with you one more night_

_And I know I said it a million times_

_But I'll only stay with you one more night-"_ I pressed Pause when the Zuka dorks were spinning away.

"Do you think they ever get dizzy spinning like that all the time?" I asked the guys. When I didn't get and answer I looked over my shoulder, everyone was flinching away from Haruhi.

"I better be going I've got some thinking to do." Haruhi said in a hardcore stoic voice.

**"Ruh-roh!"**

"Steve….what did I say about shutting up?" I growled.

_**The next day**_

"No, absolutely not! I **REFUSE**…to wear that wig with that dress. If I'm gonna help you idiots then I want the brown wig with the pretty gold princess dress or I'm leaving!" I said glaring at the flaming red wig and pumpkin orange dress the twins wanted me to wear.

"AND I'll do ya'lls makeup too." I added as the twins opened their mouths to protest.

"Fine." They grumbled.

"Good now let get started Haruhi will be here any moment. STEVE, fetch me a hammer, chicken wire, goats milk, a pair of long socks, and a tub of glitter!" I ordered snapping my fingers.

"SQUAWK! SIR, YES SIR!"

_**Hour later…**_

"Hurry everyone I can hear my precious daughter coming!" Tamaki screamed shutting off the light once we were all in formation. The door to the club opened shining light into the impossibly dark room. From my sport I could see the silhouettes of Haruhi and the Zuka girls standing in the doorway.

'**IT'S SHOW TIME!'**

"OURANNN!"

"OURANNN!"

"OURAN!"

"ORANNNN!"

"OURANNN!"

"This is so lam-**SMACK** Ow! OURANNN!"

"OURANNNNNNNN!"

We each sang. Starting with Hikaru, Kaoru, Mori, Kyoya, Honey, yours truly, and Tamaki finishing it off dramatically.

"HOST CLUB, WELCOME TO!" we sang, off key might I add, together. Striking a pose as the lights turned on. The Zuka girls and Haruhi stood shock still and deathly pale. They kinda looked like zombies all they needed to say was "BRAINS" and they'd be set. Tamaki made his way over to the shocked girls adding a feminine swagger to his walk.

"Oh Haruhi welcome back." He said throwing a charming princely smile.

'**I think he forgot his supposed to be a girl…'**

"Look Haru-chan I'm a princess now. Aren't I cute?!" Honey asked twirling around in his fluffy pink dress, blonde bouncy wig following his movements.

'**You gotta admit he does look a little like princess peach right?'**

Benibarra was the first to snap out of her shocked state and sneer at Tamaki.

"_Ugh what is the meaning of this? Are you trying to make fun of human kind!?"_ Benibarra yelled.

"What? No, that's not it at all! Everything's going according to plan. Our strategy is guaranteed to make even a crying child smile, it's the pretty campaign!" Tamaki explained striking a pose.

"My dears you have lived sheltered lives at Lobelia so you might not know that commoners are weak. They have a weakness for free things. Haruhi you may be distracted by the Zuka club but choose us and you not only gain a host club full of brothers but sisters as well. See this way you can experience feminine bonding while staying in the host club!" Tamaki ranted, "Aren't I pretty?" he asked.

"Yeah I mean really who can keep you on your toes and entertained at the same time as us morons?" I asked her pulling off my wig and slipping out of my dress leaving me in my boy uniform.

"SQUAWK!" Steve squawked flying off my shoulder when I tried to remove the Barbie dress he was wearing.

'**What a Fruity tutty bird!'**

_"Why you-DO YOU IDIOTS REALLY THINK YOU CAN WIN HER OVER WITH THIS!? I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR FOOLING AROUND!"_ Benibarra yelled.

"BAHAHAHAHAHAHAMHAHMAHHAHAHAH AH oh this is too much! I don't even get what you're trying to do! I knew you were a bunch of goofballs but geez! HAHAHAHAHABMAHHAHA!" Haruhi stated. Laughing and wheezing on the floor at our idiocity. I smirked at her and the stunned faces of the Zuka club as I made my way over to the couch.

While Haruhi was still on the floor trying to recover from her laughing fit Honey, Kaoru, and Hikaru walked over to her telling her to call them big sister and chasing her around when she scooted away from them. All the while she was laughing so hard tears were spilling from her eyes. While the twins explained the reason we did this and Haruhi rejected the Zuka club's offer I took out my camera and took some pic of the host club. There's nothing like some good old fashioned blackmail right?

I was going through the pictures when I stopped at the on one were Haruhi was yelling at Tamaki. I stared at it or a second before pushing the zoom in button to look at something in the background of the picture. It was Benibarra in the background. It looked like she was talking to her goons but she wasn't looking at them. Instead she was pointing and looking in another direction...my direction...she was staring straight at the camera!

Gulping I looked up meeting Benibarra's eye. She stared at me for a good few seconds before smirking. Still smirking she turned to face the others.

"_We're not gonna give up on you maiden. I swear this to you SOMEDAY WE'LL COME RESCUE YOU FROM THIS PLACE AND WHEN WE DO WE'LL ABOLISH THE HOST CLUB!"_ she yelled, _"Until we meet again."_ She said throwing a classy wave goodbye to Haruhi. She looked over at me again before striding over.

'**Oh dear lord…'**

She grabbed my wrist, causing me to drop my camera onto the couch, and pulled me to my feet. She wrapped her arm around my back pulling me even closer and tinted my chin to meet her eyes.

"_And when we do come back we'll make sure to save you as well beautiful maiden."_ Benibarra purred trying to do that 'Edward Cullen Dazzling Eyes' thing...ewww. Shoving my hand in her face I pushed her away until I was completely free from her 'Rapist Manly-Girl' grasp.

"I think you're a little confused girly cause I'm defiantly a guy, **AND** I can prove it." I said before grabbing Benibarra's hand and putting it between my legs/crotch area.

She stood flabbergasted, blushing like she couldn't believe I would do such a thing. Her flaming red cheeks instantly turned ghostly pale before she yanked her hand away, a look of disgust on her face as she looked at me.

***SLAP! **

"_You disgusting swine!"_ Benibarra roared rushing back to her lackeys, her nose in the air. Then together with her lackeys they all spun away and out the door, the door slamming shut.

'**Well that worked…although I didn't anticipate getting slapped while I was planning this…' **I thought rubbing my sore cheek.

_~~~~~~FLASHBACK~~~~~~_

"_Good now let get started Haruhi will be here any moment. STEVE, fetch me a hammer, chicken wire, goats milk, a pair of long socks, and a tub of glitter!" I ordered snapping my fingers._

"_SQUAWK! SIR, YES SIR!" Steve replied flying off to get the stuff._

"_Hey Vince-chan," Honey's voice called out, "what do you need a pair of long socks for?"_

_I looked at him for a second before smiling a secretive smile._

"_THAT...is an excellent question."_

_~~~~~~END FLASHBAK~~~~~~_

Suddenly the lights dimmed and the sound of gears turning rang throughout the music room. Renge rose out of the ground dressed in traditional Japanese kimono sitting on a table with a monkey pealing a banana.

"And so a new rival, The Zuka club, has appeared. From this point on the stories gonna get even more exciting. What's gonna happen to our beloved host club next? Hang in there boys don't give up!" Renge narrated biting into the banana.

"HEY! It's not your job to cook things up!" Tamaki yelled up at her. The monkey sitting next to Renge shrieked and Tamaki suspiciously crashed to the ground, slipping on a banana peel.

'**Ah well, just another day in the Host club. Queue ending song!'**

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><p><strong>Well how bad did I do this time? REVIEW SO I CAN FIND OUT!<strong>

**UNTIL NEXT TIME!**


	17. Chapter 17

**HELLO MY FOREVER AWESOME READERS! I KNOW IT'S HAS BEEN AN UTTERLY LONG TIME SINCE MY LAST UPDATE AND FOR THAT I DO WISH FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS. SO TO MAKE IT UP I PRESENT TO YOU THIS LONG (BY MY STANDARDS ANYWAYS) CHAPTER FOR YOUR LOVELY EYES TO READ UPON. THIS CHAPTER TOOK SOME SERIOUS MOTIVATION SO I REALLY HOPE YOU ENJOY AND REVIEW THE CRAP OUT OF IT SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADIEU...**

_**I DO NOT OWN THE SHOW/MANGA HOST CLUB! That honor belongs to another awesome person.**_

**ON WITH THE STORY!  
><strong>**p.s sory for any mistakes you happen to find in this chapter...**

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><p><span><strong>.:Slumming it with the Commoners!:.<strong>

"The boy, who lived, has come to die." Voldemort drawled.

"C'mon, Tom, let's finish this… Together!" Harry shouted.

"NYAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Voldemort cried as Harry sent them both tumbling over the bridge and plummeting to their death.

"_Oh I'm a gummy bear; yes I'm a gummy bear. Oh I'm a moving, grooving, jamming, singing gummy bear. Oh yea-"_

"Hello?" I asked my phone as I set down my Harry Potter action figure, while Steve continued to play with his Voldemort one.

"_**Blah bra yah yah."**_

"What do you want Kyoya? And how did you get my number anyways?" I demanded.

"_**Yah ah blah blah."**_

"Oh you got it from my Twinkie supplier, huh. Okay so what did you call me for again?" I asked.

"_**Ah blah blah ugh er blah blah yah."**_

"Tamaki wants to go to visit Haruhi and invited you to go with him but you know he's a pansy so you're inviting everyone…..Hmm..…I don't want to go." I told him.

"_**Argh blah blah err ah yah aw bled."**_

"Well if you must know, Steve and I are reenacting Harry Potter Deathly Hallows part 2. So as you can see, figuratively of course, we're busy and can't go." I said casually, picking at my nails with Harry's action figure wand.

"_**Argh blah blah err ah yah aw blah."**_

"AAHHHHHHH! Okay I'll be ready in 5 minutes just please don't do that!" I screamed into the receiver the snapped my phone shut. Looking towards Steve I slapped the Voldemort figurine out of his beck causing him to shriek and squawk angrily at me.

"I don't need your attitude, Steve, Kyoya's going to be here in 5 minutes and if we're not ready by then he's going to buy a huge shipment of Twinkies and burn it!" I yelled out all in one breath.

"Squawk! Uh-oh Hurry, Hurry!" Steve crowed before shooting off.

"Hey Steve, wait for me!" I yelled as I ran after my birdy friend.

…_**.Outside Haruhi's Apartment….**_

"Guys I'm bored! I mean, Haruhi's not even here so can I just leave?" I asked looking at everyone. Steve had already made his escape somehow **AND** he stole the Twinkie I had in my pocket as he did.

'**That birdy bastard.'**

"No, Vince senpai, you cannot leave. Do I have to remind you that we are here on our kings' demand and that we must follow his orders?" Kyoya said as he typed on his stupid laptop.

"Pshh! Since when do we ever listen to one of Tamaki's Demands? Correct me if I'm wrong but you disobeyed his demands by even inviting us here, so SUCK IT!" I yelled while pointing my figure in his face, putting figure marks on his glasses.

"Senpai, stop being a pest," Kyoya ordered slapping my hand away, "and for the last time stop hanging from the roof!" he snapped.

"No, Kyoya, I won't. I already told you that hanging upside down from a car's sunroof is good for my arthritis." I explained.

'**I swear sometimes Kyoya can be so asinine, that's another word for stupid. Look it up!'**

_**.Haruhi's POV.**_

'**That was some sale. There are no better sales then on a Sunday morning. Now all I got to do when I get home is clean and do the laundry.' **I thought as I made my way home. I was coming up on the apartments but stopped when I spotted all the people standing outside.

"What's going on? Why are they all standing outside?" I asked no one in particular as I stared at the growing crowd. They were all looking and pointing at the fancy cars parked on the street, but the thing that drew my attention was the pair of jean clad legs sticking out of the car's sunroof.

"Somehow I just know today is going to be a very annoying day." I mumbled warily as the sinking feeling in my gut started to grow, and that feeling increased tenfold when the rest of the body connected to the legs lifted itself up till the person was sitting completely on top of the car.

"Hey Haruhi! Look, everyone, Haruhi's here!" Vince senpai yelled to the crowd, pointing and waving, before standing on the car roof and jumping off pulling off a skateboarding trick as he did. Walking over to me, the crowd that was gathered around parted like a kid parting an Oreo cookie to get to the white icing filling.

"Ello lover, let me tell you the ways I missed thee." Vince senpai said then enveloped me in a hug as he reached me, his rat tail braid tickling my face.

_**.Valerie's POV.**_

I pulled back from the hug when I felt something bulky being squished between us. Looking down I saw two supermarket bags nestled in Haruhi's arms.

"Oh did you just get back from the store, Haruhi? Did you, by any chance, happen to buy some Twinkie's?" I asked while opening the bag and searching for the delicious snack. With a yelp I yanked my hand back and out of the plastic bag. You see what happened is that while I was distracted with Twinkie searching Haruhi had grabbed my hand and pinched it causing me pain.

"OW, Haruhi, what gives?! My skin's sensitive, ya'know?" I whined giving her a glare as I rubbed the sore skin. The cross dresser just glared back at me but considering our height differences (Haruhi standing at 4'8and me at 5'6) her glare wasn't as intimidating as she thought it was.

"What are you idiots doing here? This is supposed to be my day off from school and from the Host Club!" Haruhi snapped, grabbing the front of my shirt and yanking me down to her 4'8 eye level.

"Whoa, Haruhi, chill your almost nonexistent tits, okay? If it makes you feel any better, and gets me off the hook, I was brought here against my will. So if you want to blame anyone blame Tamaki, this was all his stupid idea." I said forcing her hand open so I could free my shirt. I don't want her looking down my shirt and finding out I'm truly a girl juuuust yet.

"Fine, where's Tamaki senpai?" Haruhi asked with a frustrated sigh. Stepping to the side I pointed towards the two black cars parked in front of the apartment complex.

"Our fearless leader is inside one of those two cars." I informed her just as the driver stepped out of the driver's side and opened the back passenger doors. Silently Haruhi and I watched as our friends each stepped out of the car looking like a super models idol, with the exception of Honey that looked more like a preschooler.

"So this is where Haruhi lives?" Hikaru asked no one in particular.

"It's pretty big, bigger than I thought it would be." Kaoru admitted his eyes scanning all the doors.

"Yeah, look at all the rooms!" Honey shrieked, little flowers floating around him. I tried to fight it but I rolled my eyes. I mean can't these idiots tell that Haruhi only lives in one of these rooms?"

'**Rich people are so dumb.' **

"Actually this is what you call an aggregate commoner dwelling. Haruhi is only one of many units in this building." Kyoya explained to the other idiots.

'**Okay so maybe not all rich people are slow…..whatever I don't like Kyoya so I'm still saying he's slow!'**

When I didn't hear some overly dramatic comment or rant I looked around until I found Tamaki off to the side pacing like a worried pregnant woman. He continued his back and forth movements for a few seconds until he finally snapped and latched himself onto Kyoya.

"Kyoya, How-how could you bring these **IDIOTS** with us? Especially those two doppelgangers!" Tamaki yelled directly in mothers face but Kyoya didn't even flinch; he simply pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose then spoke.

"Well you see, I knew you didn't have the courage to come here alone so I thought it would be a good idea if everyone came along," Kyoya told him before shrugging his hands of his shoulders and moving over to the twins, "Alright everyone, let's go home it seems I underestimated our great leader." Kyoya told the guys as he ushered the twins away.

Looking away as the twins protested I turned to look Haruhi, and she looked positively livid….like a kitty after being splashed by water…or Tamaki after being splashed by water. I was going to say something about how contradicting she looks trying to be angry while wearing a cute pink dress but decided against it. So to fight temptation I looked away from her and back to the guys and their pointless chatter. And by the looks of things it seemed Tamaki was giving them some kind of stupid rules.

"Now listen up men, DON'T YOU FORGET! We must be polite; this is a casual "We just happen to be in the neighborhood" kind of visit. We're not here to judge the Fujioka family's life style. The words shabby, cramped, and rundown are absolutely forbidden!" Tamaki ordered like some crazed manner school teacher.

"Right, yes sir!" the guys agreed standing up straight and saluting the host club king.

"Don't say anything that might offend Haruhi or her father and cause them to ask us to leave." Tamaki said without missing a beat. He opened his mouth to say more before the ticking time bomb that is Haruhi finally snapped.

"Well it's too late or that, GO AWAY!"

"H-Haruhi!?" Tamaki sputtered then spun around to face us.

"And me too." I said in a deadpanned voice.

'**I mean really, I am so underappreciated.'** I thought with a huff and crossed my arms. Everyone just kind of stared at her for a second before honey the twins and Tamaki finally broke the silence.

"That pink dress is pretty cute!" the guys complimented each giving her outfit a thumbs up but Haruhi was having none of it.

"Shut up. Get the hell out of here!" the angry girl snapped. And this sent Tamaki into a world of dramatics.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH Haruhi is so mad she actually cursed at us!" our lord shrieked then turned around and stared blaming the twins. As the trio argued back and forth about whose fault it was Haruhi's land lady came up to us.

"Excuse me, Haruhi, but is everything alright?" Mrs. Landlady said covering her mouth a little as if _that_ would draw less attention to her.

"Oh Hi Mrs. Landlady" Haruhi greeted.

"Those men are driving such fancy foreign cars; they're not yakuza are they?" Mrs. Landlady asked still covering her mouth.

"No, they're not." Haruhi answered at the same time I said, "Yes, they are and Haruhi owes them money."

'**Well you can't say I was flat out lying…..only partially lying.'**

"Do you want me to call the police for you huh?" Mrs. Landlady asked completely ignoring our answers. I got to admit her nosiness was really starting to get on my nerves.

"Listen lady why don't you take a hike before I tell the yakuza gangbangers that you-" I snapped before being interrupted and getting pushed out of the way by Tamaki.

"Nice to meet you madam, my name is Suoh. I'm one of Haruhi's friends."

"Really? Oh my goodness well aren't you adorable." The lady gushed turning a disturbing shade of pink….Eww.

"And he's got her." I sighed as we watched Tamaki make the older woman flush. I repeat eww.

"We were just sopping by we didn't mean to cause a scene I'm sorry." Tamaki explained putting on the extra charm.

"Oh it's no problem at all, hahaha. I'll stop by later with some snacks for you and your friends see you later." Mrs. Landlady tells us before running off.

'**Probably back to her apartment to make us snacks then put Roofies in said snacks and kidnap Tamaki then the rest of us as an added bonus.'**

"Alright did anyone else find Tamaki flirting with the landlady creepy or was that just me?" I asked the guys as we followed Haruhi up to her apartment door. When we reached the door Haruhi turned to us.

"Okay here's the deal I'm only giving you guys a quick peek. Three seconds, then you all go home got it." Haruhi said looking firmly at all of us.

"Look I brought you a gift Haru-chan. I know how much you love cake, here's both chocolate and strawberry I think we should eat it." Honey said completely dismissing her deal. The girl stared at the fancy cake box for a few seconds before turning to the door.

"Fine I'll make some tea." Haruhi sighed turning the key and opening the door. With a clear view inside everyone kind of just stared taking in the scene.

"What a hovel." Hikaru deadpanned.

"Shut up!" Tamaki snapped violently pinching his face cheeks.

"A wood built two room apartment, that's normal for a family of two." Kyoya quipped.

"Haruhi's such a pipsqueak at least we know she won't hit her head on the low ceiling." Kaoru added.

"Well I think it's a supper cute room." Honey cried.

"You don't have to struggle to compliment it." Haruhi sighed taking off her shoes before stepping inside.

"Hold on are we supposed to take off our shoes too?" Honey asked.

"Please if you don't mind." Haruhi said.

"Did you hear that we have to take off our shoes off it's kind of like going to the dojo, huh?" Honey asked getting excited.

"Yeah." Mori agreed.

"Do you have any slippers for us Haruhi?" Hikaru asked.

"Wait the room is covered in tatami mats." Kaoru pointed out to him.

"Well in that case we don't need slippers." Hikaru said.

"Great, thanks for inviting us in." Honey, Hikaru, and Kaoru all said at the same time as they walked in.

"Yeah thanks." Mori said next.

"It's greatly appreciated." Tamaki said after the tall 3rd year.

"Yes, thanks Haruhi." Kyoya said following after the host king.

Once they were in the guys all made their way to the into the Haruhi's small living/sitting room. I stayed by the door longer than the others, I was wearing some designer black combat boots the twins gave me and the laces were being stubborn, when I was done I hopped up on the kitchen counter since there was not much room left the living room.

"I'm going to go make us some tea." Haruhi said then walked over to the kitchen sink I was sitting next too.

"So Haruhi how as your Sunday been?" I asked Haruhi with a smile as she cleaned the tea pot. All I got was a glare.

"Hey here's an idea, why don't you make us this? It's black tea that our dad brought as a souvenir from Africa. Here try it." Kaoru told her holding out a little orange bag.

"Um sure no problem." Haruhi said confused.

"Its best served as milk tea! Do you have any milk?" Hikaru asked.

"I think when…. was the last time I bought milk?" Haruhi asked herself. I got off the counter top and opened up her fridge, finding and pulling out the milk.

"I found the milk Haruhi." I told as I closed the fridge door.

"Oh thanks Vince senpai." Haruhi said getting ready to make the tea.

"You're welcome." I replied claiming my seat on the counter again.

"I'm sorry Haruhi you don't have to go through all that trouble we don't need any we'd be fine with some water." Kaoru suddenly said, changing his mind about the tea.

"What it's no trouble besides I already made it." Haruhi assured.

"Oh well in that case." Kaoru said accepting the offered tea cup.

"Okay, teas ready. Sorry that not all of the cups match." Haruhi said and handed me a cup as I walked into the cramped living room.

"Why thank you sexy lady." I thanked her then sat next to Mori.

"C'mon Haru-chan you can choose your cake first." Honey said.

"You sure honey senpai?" Haruhi asked.

"Go ahead were rich we eat this kind of stuff all the time!" Hikaru randomly exclaimed. I gave him a weird look as I sipped my hot milk tea.

"Hmm I think I'll have strawberry. What about you Vince senpai?" Haruhi asked after she finally picking a flavor.

"I'll get chocolate that way you can try some of my cake and I can try yours." I told her accepting the chocolate cake Honey handed to me. Haruhi laughed before answering me.

"Alright Vince senpai I'll share some cake with you." She said smiling. I smiled back but then stopped when I heard Hikaru, Kaoru, and Tamaki groaning and banging their fists onto the table.

'**What the heck are those idiots' problem?!'**

With an eye roll I looked away from the three bozos and went back to eating my cake. I stopped eating when I the gentle giant picking the strawberries off his cake and putting them on Haruhi's place.

"You like strawberries, right? You can have mine." Mori said.

"Thanks that's nice of you Mori senpai!" Haruhi said smiling at the taller man. I stayed quiet during their little exchange when a thought popped into my head.

"Hey, Mori, what gives?! You know I like strawberries too, so why didn't you offer me any?" I yelled at the quiet guy sitting next to me, and his answer was a shrug and a tiny smirk. I huffed then reached over and stole some of Haruhi's extra strawberries.

"Ah eating all that cake sure wet my appetite." Honey said when he was finished with his cake.

"Yeah isn't it lunch time about now?" Kaoru asked.

"Well then what's for lunch?" Tamaki, Hikaru, and Kaoru asked.

"Would you guys quit being so happy go lucky all the time?" Haruhi snapped.

"No worries I'll take care of it, Kyoya give me your credit card." I ordered snapping my fingers at him. The evil shadow king glared at me from across the table before standing up and pulling his wallet out of his pants.

"Well we did drop in unexpectedly, so we'll pay for lunch. Why don't you order us some of your favorite sushi?" Kyoya said.

"Thanks but no thanks I know that if I let you pay I'll only regret it later." Haruhi quickly declined.

"Oh don't worry Haruhi well just pay for it using the profit of those photos of you we auctioned off." Kyoya said flashing her his gold credit card.

"So I am paying for it after all well if that's what you want I do have a friend that runs a nice little sushi shop their stuff is pretty high quality." Haruhi said.

Without warning Tamaki pulls out a piece of paper and a pen, scribbles something down, and gives a note to Haruhi. Taking the note from him Haruhi begins to read it aloud.

"'_Be careful Haruhi just because the sushi packaging says premium doesn't mean its high quality….'_ I'm not stupid I can figure that out on my own." Haruhi yells t him then throws he note way. I busted out laughing at the pathetic look on Tamaki's face, conveniently missing whatever he said.

"I'd really love it if you make something for lunch Haruhi." Honey sweetly asked Haruhi.

"I guess I can whip something up, but it'll take a while." She said.

"We can wait." Honey cheered.

"I'll have to go to the Supermarket again." Haruhi said to herself but the guys heard her.

"We're coming with you." the twins exclaimed

"Me too, me too." Honey cried.

"It could be a great Learning experience." Kyoya agreed

"Yeah sure, s'not like I have anything else to do." I added as he guys all ran to put their shoes on and run outside

"So much for having a day off." Haruhi said as I stood up from the table put my tea cup in the sink and sat on the floor to put my boots on. As I was putting on my shoes couldn't really hear what Haruhi and Tamaki were saying, so I ignored them, until I heard the crash to the floor. Quickly kicking off my combat boots I got up and went check on them. I nearly laughed when I saw Tamaki on all floors above Haruhi.

Then the unthinkable happens….**'Well not really unthinkable since I know what madness ensues next'**….Ranka walks through the door.

"I'm home Haruhi! Hey why did you leave the door open?" Ranka flamboyantly calls out before spotting me and the couple in a compromising position on the floor. Then he just stop and stares; not saying anything, not blinking, and maybe not even breathing.

"Welcome home dad." Haruhi says completely casual.

"Awkward…" I say when Haruhi's dad doesn't say anything back. Then as if someone called himSteve fly's into the apartment and lands on Ranka's shoulder.

"Oh hey Steve," I greet my pet parrot before I throw my boot at him knocking him unconscious, "You stole my last Twinkie you bastard!" I shout pointing at his unconscious body. Choosing to ignore him for the time being, I focus back to the scene before me.

It kind of reminded me of an old western movie. Ya'know where the sheriff and outlaw are facing each other, draw guns, and shoot? Yeah well that's what was going through my head as I watched the frozen Ranka staring at the scared shitless Tamaki who was on top of his daughter.

"So, dad, how was work?" Haruhi asked seemingly the only person not frozen in place. I had to admire her nonchalance.

'**I mean can **_**YOU**_** be that nonchalance?! I didn't think so.'**

Ranka, who seemed to snap out of the frozen spell he was under, smiled before matching straight towards Haruhi and Tamaki. When he was in front of them he grabbed Tamaki by the collar of his shirt and flung him, like a rag doll, face first into the wall. From there Ranka paid the Host Club King no mind as he sat down next to Haruhi as if nothing happened.

"I'm sorry, Haruhi, I hated having to leave you all alone last night. You must have been so lonely." Ranka cooed.

"That sound, he hit the wall really hard." Haruhi stuttered out worriedly as she watched the huge dent Tamaki's face made into the living room wall.

"Oh dear, my shoulder has been bothering me lately. It's so sore, like I went hand to hand with some ferocious beast." Ranka said dramatically rolling his shoulder for effect.

"It's not what it looks like." Tamaki mumbled pathetically but he was ignored.

"I sure could use a hot tea right about now." Ranka sighed.

"Hot tea? I'll get it for you! Do you use wood fire to boil it Haruhi? HELP ME OUT YOUR FATHER WANTS TEA!" Tamaki screamed as he grabbed Ranka a cup then ran into the kitchen like a chicken with its head cut off.

'**I know, not a very pretty mental image is it?'**

Any further movement from Tamaki was stopped when Ranka kicked him, sending him to the floor, and then stomped on him repeatedly.

"Oh my, would you look at that? I've seem to have crushed a little pest. Want to tell me why you are addressing my daughter with such formality young man?" Ranka demanded with a sinister spine-chilling aura floating around him. I was about to tell the angry tranny to tone it down a notch but the twins chose that moment to walk appear at the door.

"Hey boss, what in the world is taking you so long?" Kaoru asked.

"Hey check it out that person we just past down stairs is Haruhi's father." Hikaru told his brother.

"Hikaru! Kaoru! Help me out here!" Tamaki cried when he noticed the twins thinking that _they_would come to his rescue.

'**That poor, clueless, blonde idiot.'**

And I was right the twins didn't help the Host King. In fact they walked on him as they went and introduced themselves to Ranka while simultaneously feeding Tamaki to the wolves.

"It's nice to meet you Haruhi's dad. We're good friends of your daughter, the Hitachiin brothers. So you're a transvestite aren't you? You're the first real transvestite we've ever seen. So you finally put the moves on Haruhi, huh boss? Sorry about him he's a real ladies man if you know what I mean. He's a pheromone machine; in fact I'll bet he's fooled around with more ladies than you can count!"

'**Ahh those boys crack me up.'**

"So he likes to fool around, huh?" Ranka snarled, his eye twitching in anger. Finally getting himself free Tamaki gets up off the floor.

"No, I'm not a ladies man! I'm a nice guy. I care deeply about Haruhi, like she's my own daughter." Tamaki desperately explained dropping to his knees bowing down at Ranka's Feet. After his outburst we all just stared at him with and it was during that time that Ranka me standing there.

"And who the heck are you?" Ranka said glaring at me like I was some kind of sick perverted panty thief.

I was insulted!

"My names Vince Yoshi and I have the misfortune of being in leagues with these idiots." I answered in my bad boy host voice motioning to the three idiots known as Tamaki, Hikaru, and Kaoru.

After Tamaki scrapped himself off Haruhi's kitchen floor the Guys all came back in and Ranka moved us all into the living.

"I get it you must be the host club I've heard so much about. You certainly are a fine group of fine looking men. I'm not sure which one of you I like best, although I am leaning towards Vince-kun. I always did like the bad boys. What about you dear? I'll tell you what why don't you boys go ahead and call me Ranka. That's my professional name down at the tranny bar." Tamaki rambled.

"Pro-name... Like a stage name?" Honey asked.

"Exactly like that Mitsukuni-kun." Ranka said.

"Hold on how do you know our names sir?" Honey asked. Ranka smirks then points each of us out.

"You three are 3rd years Mitsukuni Haninozuka, Takashi Morinozuka, and Vince Yoshi." Ranka said pointing at us. Then he pointed his finger towards the twins.

"And you two are first years like Haruhi, the Hitachiin twins. You three are in the same class but I'm not sure which of you is which. I've heard a lot about you."

"What so Haruhi told you about us?" I asked staring between father and daughter, eyebrow raised.

"No, Kyoya told me about you over the phone. Yay!" said then cheered joining hands with the glasses wearing demon.

"And you really are a beautiful person Ranka." Kyoya told the crazy tranny.

"Kyoya….." Tamaki growled, reaching out from his corner of woe to grab the shadow king by the shoulder.

"We've been entrusted with the care of his precious daughter. It's only natural that we introduce ourselves and give him periodic reports. Ordinarily that would be your job wouldn't it?" Kyoya replied in that smug collected way that only he can pull off. I have to admit….. I'm slightly jealous.

"BURN!" I yelled then presided to point and laugh at Tamaki.

"I'm impressed that the club has such a great president oh but wait our only the vice P. aren't you Kyoya. I guess that pres. Is really good for nothing huh?" Ranka said, adding fuel to the fire. And with our combined forces we sent Tamaki back to the emo closet.

"You never mentioned this to me dad. Why didn't you say you've been getting phone calls from Kyoya?" Haruhi snapped standing out of her seat and slamming her palms onto the table top.

"Well you got to admit it makes sense, Haruhi, I mean how else would Kyoya have gotten those personal pictures of you if not from your dad?" I said doing my best Robert Downey Jr. as Sherlock Holmes impression.

"Well what am I supposed to do Haruhi you rarely tell me anything about school." Ranka whined.

"So that doesn't make it okay to talk about me behind my back! C'mon senpai would you quit growing mushrooms in other peoples closets?" Haruhi yelled.

"Haruhi the thing about you is… you're cute even when you are mad." Ranka said he hug glopped her.

With very little effort Haruhi pulls away from her dad and walks away letting her father fall to the floor.

"Wait, Haruhi where are you going?" Ranka asks his daughters retreating back.

"To the supermarket I'll be right back alright. I have to go shopping and I want to go by myself so all of you just stay here and try to behave yourselves." Haruhi says and with her final orders closes he apartment door behind her.

"Wait we're coming with you!" Hikaru yelled moving to follow the brunette before being stopped by Ranka.

"Just leave her be. Once she makes up her mind she'll never change it." He told the ginger twin motioning him to sit back down. And as Hikaru's butt was back in his seat where it belonged I shot out of my seat as quick as I could.

"Whelp it's a good thing I'm not asking her permission to follow her, huh? I call dibs on going with Haruhi to the Supermarket!" I yelled grabbing up my combat boots near the door and running out the door after Haruhi.

"Hey Haruhi, Wait up will 'ya?" I yelled jumping off the last few stairs, my socks hitting asphalt, and then jogging towards her.

"What? Vince senpai, didn't I just finish saying that I wanted to go to the supermarket by myself?" Haruhi asked me as I reached her side.

"Of course you did, I heard every word. I just decided not to listen to anything you said and did what I wanted to do and go with you to the store." I answered her as I used her shoulder as an Anchor to put my boots back on. When I was done I let go I stood up straight and smiled at her. She stared at me for a few seconds as if to see if I would turn around and walk away. When I didn't she rolled her eyes, sighed, then turned around and started walking.

"So Haruhi have you decided on what you're making for lunch yet?" I asked stuffing my hands into my pockets.

"Not yet. I don't know maybe I'll have an idea when we get to the store." Haruhi mumbled.

"Sounds like a plan captain." I said then in a comfortable silence we continued on our way to the supermarket.

Eventually we reach the store and as Haruhi walks straight towards the food isles I decide to lazily cruise around the store. I was hanging out at the magazine racks when I saw something out of my peripheral. Glancing I had to do a double take. It was Steve, flipping through an issue of _Tropical Birds_.

'**Is that a nosebleed…?'**

"Awkward." I said putting down the magazine I was reading and walked away. I was walking around looking for Haruhi to see if she needed any help when I saw some familiar faces… like host club faces.

"I can't believe the idiots actually followed us…..okay of course I can I've seen the episode….But still don't they know the meaning a dibs?!" I mutter under my breath as I watch the host all wonder around the grocery store like it was a freaking museum. With an eternal groan at the hos club rich boys I was about to start looking for Haruhi again when I spotted Ranka and Tamaki staring at the object of my search. From my spot I couldn't really hear what they were saying but I remember some of it. So as I watched Ranka get mad and kick Tamaki out from their hiding spot I made my way over to the tranny and did some more watching of Tamaki and Haruhi.

"Hey what are you doing here senpai?" Haruhi asked Tamaki.

"Oh Haruhi it looks like you found me I followed you here so I can carry your shopping basket you know how daddy loves accessories now why don't you just hand it over." Tamaki rambled. Haruhi stared at him for a second then laughed.

"You're so weird." She smiled. Then their conversation was lost as they talked in lower voices or in Tamaki's case mumbles.

"He really is the world's biggest idiot, but you got to admit he is the idiot that will love your daughter like the very air he breaths." I said with a smirk then tuned to the tranny dad standing next to me.

"I know…just thinking about it makes my blood boil!" Ranka growled like a kid having a tantrum.

So when all the shopping was done and Haruhi was finally able to round up all the hosts we headed back to Haruhi's to have us some much deserved lunch.

And as I'm sitting here at the Fujioka's small living room table one thing crossed my mind….

**Let god give Tamaki the endurance to put up with a crazy future father-in-law like Ranka, QUEUE ENDING SONG!'**

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><p><strong>Well how bad did i do this time? REVIEW SO I CAN FIND OUT!<strong>

**UNTIL NEXT TIME!**

_THIS FANFIC HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE AMASING_** TRIPPINOFFTHEWALL**


	18. Chapter 18

**I DO NOT OWN THE SHOW/MANGA HOST CLUB! That honor belongs to another awesome person.**

**Any other refrenses I may have made also aren't mine!**

**ON WITH THE STORY!**

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><p><span><strong>Your little sister is <strong>_**AFRAID**_** of **_**CATS**_**!?**

"Hikaru if you don't give me back my police badge I'm going to rip off your eyebrows and super glue them on to your butt!" I growled glaring at the devious ginger.

"How do you know I was the one that took it Vince senpai?" Hikaru asked, a smirk nestled on his face. I rolled my eyes, popping out my hip and crossing my arms.

"Oh, let me think… you walked up to me and took it right out of my hand." I said slowly inching closer to him. From my peripheral vision I could see Tamaki nervously biting his finger nails.

"Mother! My sons are arguing!" Tamaki cried dramatically, clinging on to Kyoya's police uniform for dear life. Kyoya ignored him, pushing the dramatic blond off of him.

"Give me back the badge Hikaru!" I yelled pouncing on him and putting him in a headlock.  
>"I'm telling you I don't have it!" Hikaru defended trying to pry my arms from around his neck.<br>"You're killing him!" Kaoru cried.  
>"Momma!" Tamaki wailed.<p>

"SILENCE!" Kyoya yelled, losing his cool collected persona. "Tamaki stop crying and Vince senpai release Hikaru from the headlock." Kyoya ordered reminding me of a preschool teacher scolding a child. However, I didn't listen to my preschool teachers as a kid so I promptly ignored his order and tightened my hold on Hikaru's head.

"Not until I get the Badge back." I said holding Hikaru's head hostage. Kyoya sighed pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Hikaru." Kyoya said eyebrow arched.

"Fine." Hikaru mumbled pulling the police badge out of his pocket and holding it up to my eye level. Once it was in my hand I shoved Hikaru's head away and pinned the badge to my chest.

"Now that you mental patients are done horsing around, get into position. We have a guest heading our way." Kyoya said as he and the others started getting into the, what I like to call, "Welcoming" position.

"And how would you know that Kyoya? Are your Spidey senses tingling? Do you sense a disturbance in the force?" I snorted staring at his back. Walking over to my spot next to Kaoru I opened my mouth to say some other smart ass remark but was cut off by the club doors opening.

'**I'll be damned... Kyoya is Spiderman.'**

"_Welcome."_

Once the Mori turned off the big spot light and Haruhi stopped feeding rose peddles into the fan I was able to see that standing at the door was a little girl. She had gold blonde hair pulled into two pigtails and ocean blue eyes. Judging by the uniform she was wearing I'd guess that she was a student over at the Ouran Elementary building.

'**How did no one notice that this little girl is missing from class missing from class? Let alone wondering around in the High School building?! Are they just hiring random crack heads off the streets to watch over these kids!?'**

I was brought out of my thoughts by the sound of Tamaki's voice.

"Oh, what an unusually young guest! Well I'm glad you're here, my little lost kitty cat." Tamaki cooed and in my opinion laying the charm a little thick. I mean the little girl is like 5. Anyway when the little girl just stood there not saying anything, I decided to voice my thought.

"Hey Tamaki just saying, but maybe you should turn down the charm just a bit? I mean this kid can't be any older than 5, you don't want to sound like a pedophile do you?" I said nudging him in the arm. Tamaki had a look of horror at being called a pedophile before turning to glare at me; Anime anger vein present on his forehead.

"I am NOT a pedophile, so shut up Vince-senpai! _Ahem…_Now little kitty cat, why have you come to see us today?" Tamaki asked after yelling at me. The little girl didn't say anything for a few second, just staring at us really, before a healthy blush appeared on her cheeks and she raised her chubby little hand pointing at us.

"It's a Reverse Harem! This is a Reverse Harem!" the little girl happily declared jumping up and down in happiness. The guys however were paralyzed with horrifying shock expressions etched on their faces. I on the other hand…..was freaking confused.

"What is this nonsense? And what the heck is a Reverse Harem!?" I asked. When no one bothered to answer my question I reached over and dug around in Mori's pocket for his iPhone. When I found it I pulled it out and unlocked his screen before opened up the Google app.

"Now let's see _**–Le Typing-**_ Reverse Harem means **–**_**Le Scrolling-**_**- **A collection of males lead by a woman." I mumbled reading over the definition. It was after I finished reading the definition that the guys, plus Haruhi, snapped out of their shocked into silence state.

"Now that can't be right, I must have heard wrong. Maybe there's still some water in my ears from when I went swimming." Tamaki reasoned as he hit his head trying to get the imaginary water out of his ears. I looked at him as if he were crazy.

"Ha-Ha-Ha, water in the ear that's got to be it." Hikaru laughed, albeit forced, as he placed a finger in each ear and rubbed them to clear them out. I just looked at him too.

"I'm sure we just heard her wrong. There's no way this cute little girl said the words Reverse Harem. Something's going on with our ears." Kaoru added copying his brother. While they were all refusing to accept facts, the little girl had gone back to studying us- which was really more of the creepy stare little kids do- when another thought popped into her head.

"There's debauchery here. Yay there's debauchery here, isn't there!?" she exclaimed causing everyone to become statues once again. Everyone except me because I was once again confused.

"Oh great, more big words! Now let's see –_**Le Typing-**_ Debauchery means –_**Le Scrolling-**_ excessive indulgence in sensual pleasures. What the hell? How the Fu-?!" my question was instantly cut off by Mori slapping his hand over my mouth and taking back his cell phone. When looking up at him with a questioning eyebrow, he simply shook his head in a _"No-No" _then motioned to the innocent cheering little girl in the room.

**'Oh I get it. Cussing in front of children is frowned upon in this anime...ruin all my fun why don't you?'**

With a reluctant nod of understanding from me Mori removed his hand from my lips then went back to listening to the conversation. When the little girl stopped jumping and cheering she raised her pointer finger and pointed it straight at Kyoya.

"You're the glasses character."

"You're the Boy Lolita and the Stoic type." she said pointing at Honey and Mori.

"I'm getting a strange sense of Déjà vu. Didn't Renge do this the first day she met us too? OHMYGODZILLA, please don't tell me I'll have to cut my hair again! I just got use to it this morning!" I cried in the background as the little moved onto the twins.

"Twincest!" the little girl shouted pointing at the gingers. I had to stop my crying at that one, plus the look on their face had me fighting a giggle and I probably would have succeeded if it wasn't for what the little girl said next.

"You're the bookworm." She said, her chubby little finger pointed at Haruhi. After that I just let it all out.

"BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Man this little girl just met you guys today for the first time and she already has your personalities down to a T!" I said as I held my stomach in laughter. After the last couple of chuckles escaped my lips I whipped the few tears from my eyes. Smiling broadly at some of the glares I was getting from my fellow club mates, I turned back to our little guest. Dark brown meeting ocean blue I watched as the little girl looked me over as if trying to place my face. She stared at me for close to a minute then snapped her fingers, which she failed at by the way.

"I remember now, you're the Criminal! The anti-Robin Hood. You steal from the rich and keep the goods for yourself. Actually you steal from the poor too." the kid cheered jumping up and down, I stared at her.

"Anti-Robin Hood, huh?... Well I always did like to cause trouble and being a thief in tights sounds so bad a-" my words were cut off by I tiny warm hand clamping over my mouth added by a sudden weight change on my back. Looking over my shoulder I was met with the sight of Honey's honey brown eyes.

"Uh, uh, uh Vince. Bad words are a big NO-NO in this anime." the small senior reprimanded with a firm glare.

"Ohpay." I said my words muffled behind Honey's hand. Once I was released I turned my attention back to the little tot.

"Big brother?" She whispered her eyes tearing up then with a bust of energy she launched herself into Tamaki's arms. "My brother's blonde, you must be him!" she cried, dangling from the kings neck.

"Really? You're basing being related to Tamaki by hair color?" I asked, giving my best _"Are you stupid?" _face. She stuck her tongue out at me, and I being the mature adult that I am retaliated by doing the same.

"You never told us about this." Hikaru accused.

"Since when do you have a little sister?" Kaoru questioned.

"I don't I'm defiantly an only child at least as far as I know." Tamaki declared flustered and confused as the little girl hung from his neck, refusing to let go.

"The more I look at you the two of you do look a lot alike, you are both blonde after all." Honey added.

"Seriously guys again with the hair color thing? I worry that in the future one of you are going to get some crazy lady showing up and saying that you're the father of her baby because of hair color and you morons believe her." I said seriously worried for their mental wellbeing.

"Excuse me you want to tell me your name little one." Tamaki asked.

"Kirimi!" she exclaimed. Haruhi caught my attention as she spaced out in thought. I know what you're thinking _"So what? People space out all the time, what's the big deal?" _Well it was the dark gloomy thought bubble that appeared over the cross dressers head with a picture of what looked to be sushi that caught my attention.

**'I mean, unless you're Edward Cullen, how many times a day to you actually get to see a person's thought bubble? You would stare too.'**

"Kirimi-chan, I'm afraid you've made a mistake. I'm really sorry but I don't have a little sister." Tamaki said breaking the truth to her gently. This caused Kirimi's eyes to water up in utter sadness.

"Are you sure? You're blonde just like me." she asked wryly.

"Oh that is true...I give in! As of this moment I am your new big brother! You're so cute!" Tamaki cooed giving into the little girls childlike charms like a punk.

"Tamaki, how do you expect to take care of her? I mean you can barely take care of yourself." I accused.

"Not true!" Tamaki whined defiantly. I raised a brow pointingly.

"Oh yeah, you want to bet? Okay do you remember Jimmy, the pet cactus Steve and I gave you last week?" I asked him. When I got a hesitant nod in return I continued. "Well this is what Jimmy looks like after a 3 days with you." I said then pointed off to a dark corner to my left. All at once everyone turned to look and when their eyes landed on Jimmy huge sweat drops formed on their heads. There in the corner sat a little orange plant pot with the name Jimmy scribbled on it. In the pot where the small round cactus was supposed to be was a small tombstone that read _"R.I.P JIMMY" _nestled in the cracked dried soil. And as if to add injury to insult there was Steve with a little bouquet of flowers in his beak and big baby tears in his birdy eyes.

There was a three second pause before everyone turned to Tamaki with dead pan expressions on their faces. Fidgety Tamaki pretended that we didn't exist as he decided to play airplane with Kirimi sprouting nonsense about how responsible he was as he spun her around. His antics were put to a stop suddenly when a spooky yet familiar voice started calling out Kirimi's name.

_"Kirimi, Kiriiiiiimi."_

When the voice stopped we all turned towards the big gothic doors that magically appeared in the club room. We all stared as the door creaked open and out popped a blonde hair blue eyed boy. I smiled and waved as Steve squawked and flew towards the uninvited guest and landed perched on his head. Now while Steve and I reacted normally everyone else remained in the state of WTFness. Queue the huge sweat marks.

"Hey uh who the hell are you?" the twins asked united and blunt as ever.

"That's Nekozawa you idiots." I stated while eating a Twinkie.

"Who are you calling an idiot, idiot? You're the idiot if you think this Stranger is Nekozawa." Hikaru yelled at me with a "You're so stupid" look on his face..

"Steve, attack this fool." I ordered with a glare then watched as Steve sky bombed Hikaru and started pecking and pulling at his head and hair.

**'Who needs a guard dog when you have Steve around?'**

Kaoru jumping to help his brother was trying to divert Steve's attention away from Hikaru with a delicious looking fried fish. Don't ask me where he got it from...I have no idea myself. Anyway while this was going on the others host were still studying the new comer.

"He looks like a foreigner." honey chimed flowers floating around his head.

"What's up with that? Why does the door look different?" Haruhi asked.

"Oh Kirimi." the stranger (but not _really _a stranger cause it was Nekozawa) gushed not bothering to pay attention to any of the guys. Opening the door fully Nekosawa stepped out dress in his school uniform and holding his arm out as if he was expecting a hug from his sister. As Kirimi cowered away two more people emerged from the darkness; a tall bald man with a scar on his face and a petite woman with pigtails both dressed in servant clothes.

"Master," the butler addressed in his deep voice.

"You forgot your cloak." the maid said draping the cloak and wig on Nekozawa and spinning him fast like a tornado. When he stopped he was back to his regular and more familiar appearance.

"See I told you it was Nekozawa! Ha!" I said smiling smugly at Hikaru who had paused to stare at the reveal of Nekozawa with Steve still pulling at his hair.

"Nekozawa-senpai?!"

After everyone got over their shock the Maid and Butler went into some dramatically ridiculous story about Nekozawa and Kirimi's relationship. About how the older brother was darkness and the little sister was light; the Maid said they were like Romeo and Juliet. Then something about the Russian family the Romanov's and some legend that may or may not be true. But honestly I wasn't paying attention because as soon as the maid first started her story telling my attention was pulled to Steve who was poking and biting at my ear. Pushing him away I just about had a heart attack because as Steve pulled away from my ear clasped in is beak were two Twinkies. With a squeak of delight (that was totally manly btw) I decided it was time for a Twinkie and tea break. So while Steve and I were munching on the spongy goodness we missed all the ridiculousness that was being said and only jumped back to attention when we Spotted Nekozawa sprawled out on the floor looking utterly pathetic.

"Steve I think we just missed some key points here." I muttered, Steve bobbing his head in agreement.

"That's so sad! No wonder Neko-chan is so upset." Honey cooed tearfully and rubbed the tears from his eyes.

"Yeah dude we toootally missed something." I said looking at Steve who was perched on my left shoulder. Then as I said that Nekozawa sprang up from his fallen position on the floor and sat back on his hunches.

"Yes it's painful, that's why every night I offer prayers in hopes that one day Kirimi will come to embrace the darkness." He confessed in a spaced out daze which he was quickly snapped out of when I Gibbs slapped the hell out of him.

"What the hell is wrong with you?! It's you that has the problem not your sister." I shouted as yelped and rubbed his wounded head in pain. His little puppet glaring at Steve as apparently the crazy bird and flown down and viciously pecked it in the head.

"I agree with Vince-senpai, you've got it backwards buddy." The twins said together in that creepy twin way and then stand by my side. "You should try to get use to the light. What are you trying to do your sister? Traumatize her? "They would have said more if it wasn't for the high pitched wail Kirimi let loose.

"I'm not going with you! I don't want to home! I want to stay here with my big brother!" Kirimi cried tightening her grip around Tamaki's neck. While the little girl had her tantrum I keep my gaze on the dark senior and watched with concern as Nekozawa flinched at the word spilling out of Kirimi's mouth.

"Nekozawa?" Tamaki asked as comforted the crying child.

"Don't worry about me Souh. All I want is for my sister to be happy. Make sure she gets the love she deserves!" Nekozawa chocked out the stood to his feet and ran out of the club, slamming the door in his wake. There was an awkward silence that fell over the club after the distraught boy left. It lasted maybe a few moments before it was broken by Kyoya's ever dull drawl.

"Sibling relations are a source of problems in any family."

"Even so I'm kind of jealous. I grew up and only child so I can't really relate. But I can't imagine how tough it must be to have a sibling that's so different from you that you can't even spend time with them." Haruhi said as she gazed out the window.

"It's not all that hard to imagine Haruhi. Just pretend your dad is your older brother. Now pretend that he hates your guts. Ta-da you have a better grasp of Nekozawa's situation. I have two brothers back in my world that hate me simply because I'm their half-brother."

"Vince senpai?"

"So what are we going to do about the tag-a-long?" I ask Tamaki ignoring Haruhi's concern and hinting towards the little girl. Tamaki looks down at the smaller blonde still secured in his arms for a moment thinking then lowers her down to the floor.

"I'm sorry Kirimi but I'm not the big brother that you've been looking for. Don't worry he's still out there. Believe it or not you have a big brother who's even more handsome than I am and I promise you he's a real prince." Tamaki reassured the little girl with a nod then stood up a struck a dramatic headache inducing pose. In my opinion his poses just spelled trouble and fortunately I'm not the only one that thinks that.

"Now, now Tamaki senpai let's think about this." Haruhi speaks up with a big sweat drop rolling down her head; hands raised in front of her as if she's trying to calm down an animal. Tamaki however completely ignores her existence and goes on with whatever half bit plan he's come up with as she never interrupted.

"Once Kirimi stepped into this room she became a guest to the Host Club. And it's our job to make all our guests happy. It's an absolute gravity to see a brother and sister at odds this way. We have to do something to help them. Starting now 'Operation: Change Nekozawa- senpai into the princely character of Kirimi-chains dreams' is under way!" Tamaki exclaimed glowing in a halo of sparkles that fell down from the sky.

"Or operation: character reformation for short." I say turning to the camera.

An awkward silence fell upon everyone, huge sweat drops rolling down everyone's head.

"Are you serious?" Hikaru and Kaoru ask wryly.

"But sir-" the butler, I had no ideas he was still even here, started only to be cut off by the maid, who I also didn't know was here.

"You want to change master Umehnito from a prince of darkness to a prince of light? I don't even think that's possible."

"Senpai! Quit getting carried away by your emotions!"

"Oh ye if little faith, Haruhi. Have you forgotten that we have an expert on our side? Someone who knows the importance of changing characters." Tamaki says in an arrogant tone. From somewhere in the room the twins gasp in horror.

"You don't think-"  
>"He's talking about?" The twins ask in a terrified whisper.<p>

Choking on air in sudden horrified realization I race up to Tamaki, grabbing him by the lapels of his uniform blazer, and shake him.

"Tamaki, NO! You hear me? NO! We don't need that crazy romance gamer, cosplay loving freak. There's someone else that can help us, anybody else is fine. Just. Not. Her." I demand, firmly standing my ground only to be metaphorically knocked off my feet when the sound of a powerful motor switches on and crazy laughter pierces the room.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

_Time skip to next day_

"No."

"Yes."

"Haruhi, you're not being fair."

"How am I not being fair, Vince-senpai?"

"I. Don't. Like. Children." I reply dramatically enunciating each word. Haruhi however doesn't take my words to heart and promptly threw them in the trash as she flipped through a few pages of some Shojo Manga book. When she doesn't say anything I flop back down onto the couch with a frustrated sigh.

"I just don't see why I have to get stuck here with you on babysitting duty when I don't even like kids. Meanwhile the others get to watch Renge beat Nekozawa into her perfect doll. Tch they're racist."

"How are they racist?"

"They're racist against women."

"That's called sexist and you're a man, Vince-senpai."

"Exactly. So why don't you stay here and I'll go teach those racist sexists a lesson. Don't worry I'll be back." I said standing up, getting ready to leave only for Haruhi's hand to reached out and clamped down onto the sleeve of my blazer.

"Nice try Vince-senpai but I know that as soon as you walk out those door you're not coming back. I'll go find the Renge and the others and tell them to hurry up."

"What? Wait you're going to leave me here alone with the twerp?! Haruhi, you can't. No, Haruhi!" I yelled but she was already gone. With my shoulders slumped in defeat I sigh and glance over my shoulder. Eyes immediately landing on Kirimi I breathe in relief as I see that she's still laid out on the floor coloring and listening to music from the iPod I swiped off Tamaki earlier.

"Well at least she's still distracted enough not to annoy me, right Steve?" I ask my feathered companion. But when I didn't get an immediate response I looked over towards the couch I had last seen him on and nearly collapsed at the sight I found. Steve was wrapped up in a pink bunny blanket, that I vaguely registered belonged to Honey, reading one of Kirimi's many Shojo manga novels with a cup of tea.

"STEVE! Don't read those trashy books, they're bad for you!" I warned the parrot. Huffing in annoyance when Steve merely ruffled his feathers before going back to his book I stomped over to the nearest chair and collapsed onto it. Leaning my head back I closed my eyes and tried to relax. Getting comfortable I started to pretend that I wasn't babysitting at all just waiting for Haruhi and the guys to return from the grocery store from buying me Twinkies. Yeah I like that idea better than reality.

I didn't have my eyes closed for more than maybe five minutes when I felt something annoyingly tapping on my shoulder. Cracking on eye open I spot Kirimi, sans coloring book and iPod, looking up at me with big blue doe eyes.

"Yes? What do you want?" I asked cocking a brow in question.

"I have a question," Kirimi said pausing for my answer.

"Okay, what is it?" I encourage with a nod.

"Where did the bookworm go?" she asked.

"Haruhi? He went to go look for the rest of the guys."

"Oh where are the others?"

"I don't know that's why Haruhi went to go look for them."

"Where's the restroom?"

"It's in the back room." eyes wide and confusion on my face at the random off topic question I point over to the back of the room.

"Okay." She smiled. But she didn't go anywhere she just stood there staring at me.

"Are you going to go?" I asked wirily.

"No."

"Then why did you ask where they were?" I asked in exasperation.

"I just wanted to know." Kirimi replied with an innocent little shrug.

"Oh-kay…" I huffed.

"Is Steve a bird?"

"No he's a dog." I deadpanned with an irritated twitch on my forehead.

"Where do babies come from?"

"They come from Narnia." I drawled.

"What's that?" the little blonde asked tilting her head much like a confused puppy.

"A very fancy closet." I explained.

"I have a fancy closet at home! Is that where the babies come from?" she asked in excitement.

"It's not the same one."

"Why?"

"Cause the Narnia closet is in a magical place called Hogwarts and it's very far away." I clarified throwing book references that didn't even exists in this anime at her.

"Oh!"

"Yup."

"I have another question." She says raising her hand like she was in a classroom waiting for the teacher to pick on her. Literally I was ready to flip a chair with all the questions she had asked me already there was no way I was gonna let her ask any more.

'_**I hate babysitting.'**_

"Yeah, okay no. No more questions." I snapped standing out of my chair and stared down at her looming over her intimidatingly.

"But-" she started to protest but I quickly cut her off.

"No. Say I have an idea why don't we go look for Tamaki and the others?"

"You mean big brother?" she practically shouted excitement shining in her big blues.

"Yeah sure. C'mere!" I answer then grab Kirimi by the back of her shirt, tuck her under my arm like a football and head towards the doors.

"C'mon Steve!"

"C'mon Steve! C'mon Steve!" Steve mimics then detangles himself from blanket cocoon and follows, leaving behind his tea and Shojo manga book.

_Time Skip to a few minutes later_

"What classroom did they say they were gonna be in again? Aw darn I can't remember!" I whined in self-loathing for my bad memory.

"Hey, do you know where they are?" I asked glancing down at the toddler tucked under my arm. Lifting her head to meet my gaze Kirimi shrugged.

"I'm five. How am I supposed to know?"

"Well you're no help." I sighed, "What about you Steve? Do you have any clue where the dorks are? I mean I know they're in a science classroom but this school is huge. Who knows how many science rooms there are." I said distractedly thinking of how long it would take me to find everyone.

"HA-ROO-HEE! HA-ROO-HEE!" I was brought out my musing by Steve's loud squawking voice. Looking over at him I cocked a brow in confusion.

"Huh, Haruhi? Where?" at my question Steve took off down the long hallway towards what looked like a person in the distance. "I guess that's where Haruhi is."

"You were right, Mr. Criminal, Steve _is_ a dog."

"You're telling me. Well you heard the bird the others are this way." I said continuing our journey down the hall.

"Can I walk?"

"That depends, do you promise to stay close and not run off yelling about reverse harems and debauchery's?"

"I promise."

"Okay then." I says stopping to place Kirimi down on her feet. Once she was standing I grabbed her hand started walking again.

When we finally reached Steve he was perched on top of the door sign that read Science Room #3and judging from the voices coming from inside the room it was safe to say that this was the right place. But I wasn't paying attention to any of that because my attention was on the bathing suit clad mannequin laying out in the middle of the hallway. What was even more bizarre was the very Haruhi-like wig the oversized doll was donned in.

"What the heck?"

"Big brother?"

"Huh?" I asked looking down at Kirimi only to find her gone and instead over by the thresh hold of the door poking her head into room. Walking up to her I peered into the room also to find the rest of the host club staring back at us. "Sup guys? Question; what's up with the mannequin and why is it dressed as Haruhi in a bathing suit?"

"Vince-senpai? What are you doing here? I thought I told you to stay in the club room." Haruhi scowled walking towards us.

"You did tell me to stay at the club but you see I didn't want to be babysitter and play a Million-and-Two questions with Kirimi anymore. I get enough of that with Steve as it is." I replied back smartly with my famous shit-eating grin. Haruhi opened her mouth to reply but before she could quiet strangled sob coming from below us. Looking down we were met with big crocodile tears spilling from Kirimi's eyes.

"Hey babe what's wrong? Why are you crying?" I asked her petting her soft blonde hair.

'_**What? Oh don't look at me like that reader! I know I said I don't like kids but I'm not completely hearts less that I would ignore one when they cry. You know what, just get back to reading the story.'**_

"It's really dark in here!" she whimpered her voice breaking half way through the sentence in favor of crying.

"Oh Kirimi-chan! I told you to wait in the other room." Haruhi said crouching down to the crying girls' level rubbing her arms and legs to console her.

"I was but Mr. Criminal-

"Hey don't sell me out half pint!" I shouted.

"Hello little one, what's wrong?" Tamaki asked coming over to our merry, well not that merry since Kirimi is crying, group by the door. "There, there you see? Nothing to be afraid of." Tamaki reassured before lifting Kirimi into the air and giving her an airplane ride; causing the little girl to burst out into giggles. Their laughter and happiness was cut off when we heard mumbled chanting coming from the classroom.

"I'm a princely big brother, I'm a princely big brother, I'm a princely big brother...and I am not afraid if the LIGHT! Self-evil beam!" Nekozawa shouted then flicked the switch flooding his face in light.

'_**Hey wait a second…'**_

"What the heck? Is that the flashlight I used that one time when I first met you? Hmm?" I asked pointing at said object.

_Flash back~~~~~~~~~_

_"12." I called out walking out of the restroom._

_"That makes 12 restrooms I've walked into thinking it was an exit!" I said giving an exasperated sigh._

_Continuing down the hall I saw something weird. Now Ouran is known for its pink color scheme, but why is there a Black wood door in this hallway? _

_**'Hmm maybe this will lead me outside? ...Or it could be another restroom'**__ I thought walking towards the door._

_"Well there's only one way to find out." I said and walked into the room._

_Once the door closed behind me I was engulfed by darkness._

_**'What the... Why is this restroom so dark?'**_

_"WHOA!" I tripped. "Owwww..."_

_"Ho ho ho..." Creepy laughter sounded through the darkness. _

_"Santa Claus?" I sweat dropped. __**'Why would Santa trip me in the dark?'**_

_All of a sudden candles were turned on all around the room. In the dim glow of the candles light I saw a cloaked figure sitting in a throne like chair. It was when the figure got up and floated towards me that I started to panic._

_**'OH MAN! I'm starting to miss the idea of this being restroom number 13!' **_

_Still laying on my stomach I caterpillar crawled away from the Santa Claus wanna be._

_**'Crawl, crawl, crawl, cr-Oh hello what's this thing?'**_

_While I was making my wormy escape my hand bumped into something cold and metal like._

_**'What is this? Wait is this a flashlight! Hmm I wonder how this ended up here...'**_

_"Ho ho ho…" _

_**'Oh No creepy laughing kid is getting closer!'**_

_"Hello my dear welcome to the Black Magic Club. I'm Umehito Nekosawa," *Click* "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"_

_"Hey it is a flashlight! And it works! Huh? Where did that guy go?" I asked swinging the flashlight around like a light saber._

_"Heeey! Creepy emo kid? How do I get out of here?" I called out into the dark._

_"Th-through there." Came a whimpered reply._

_Flashing the light around I found the boy hiding under his throne like chair pointing at a door with a neon red EXIT over it._

_"Oh cool, thanks!_

_~~~~~~~~~~End flash back~~~~~~~~~_

Coming back from memory lane I gasped pointing at Nekozawa.

"Hey that **IS** the same flashlight!" I shouted but stopped myself from saying anymore when I noticed the black magic club president had the flashlight on pointing up at his face. With the light shining on him at that angle it cast shadows on his face giving him a scary haunted look.

It was creepy. It was creepy and freaky. It was creepy, freaky and it gave me the heebie jeebies. And I wasn't the only one that thought so because if Kirimi's, who was standing right in front of Nekozawa, frozen in terror stance wasn't a big clue then the ear piercing bloody murder scream she let loose was an even bigger clue. And if that wasn't a big enough clue for you then her bolting out of there so fast you think Satan himself was casing her then you're and idiot.

"Kirimi! Wait where are you going? Come back!" I yelled watching her run down the hall. "I'm going after her guys I'll come back once I find her." I told them before running out of the room and after the crying child.

"C'mon Steve!" I call out as I pass under the door sign.

"Steve! Come!" he cried flying by my side. Together we followed after Kirimi as ran through the maze of hallways and classrooms until somehow we managed to lose her. Rounding the corner I skid to a stop at a dead end.

"A dead end? That's just great!"

"VAL-RR-EE! _*squawk * _DOOR!"

"What door?!" I yelled looking around the hall. When I didn't find what Steve was looking the bird took matters into his own claws and attacked my rat tail braid, yanking on it.

"Oww! What's the big idea!? Let go Steve!' I shouted slapping him away. Turning around to face him I watched as he flew away back around the corner. "Come back here!"

Running after him I found him fluttering around a door with the word exit above it. "Oh good job Steve. I can't believe I missed that." I praised pushing the door open and running out into the rose gardens. Looking around I could find Kirimi anywhere.

"I don't see Kirimi anywhere. Do you see her Steve?"

"Meow."

"Steve you're not a cat."

"Meow?"

"Steve! I said you're not a- oh hey look a cat!" I said spotting the big fat white cat up ahead. Also up ahead was Kirimi frozen in terror staring at the feline creature. Remembering that in this episode of the anime that Kirimi is scared of cats I was about to cry out to her but before I could get the chance a crash from above me cut me off.

*SMASH!*

"Kirimi!" shouted Nekozawa as her sail through the air from the broken window. Landing in a barrel-row the senior was back on his feet bolting it towards his baby sister.

"KIRIMI!"

"Big Brother!" Kirimi shouted launching herself into her brothers' the siblings shared a loving warmth embrace the cat meowed one more time before tuning and walking away.

"You see, Kirimi? There's no need to be scared of the cat." Nekozawa said as he placed his sister back on her feet. "For you see with the power of this curse puppet, Belzenef ….I'll curse….curse…nugh." the dark prince said before promptly passing out and face planting on the grass from over exposer of the sun. Biting back a laugh at the comical sight before me (Nekozawa landing face first with his butt sticking out in the air) I sigh leaning back on the exit door crossing my arms over my chest.

"Looks like we didn't have to go save her anyway, huh Steve?"

"Right, right." Steve responds landing and resting on my shoulder.

"I mean what girl wouldn't want to be saved by a Prince? Queue ending song." I smile reaching up and stroking Steve's small feathered head.

* * *

><p><strong>Well how bad did I do this time? REVIEW SO I CAN FIND OUT!<strong>

**UNTIL NEXT TIME!**


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